Misunderstanding

[Note from the author: issue resolved. ~CCC]

Friends are well-meaning, caring, and kind in their own ways.
Trouble is…their ways aren’t always my ways and vice versa.

The expectations feel so high sometimes
I go sliding right down to the bottom of my toes,
Wondering if I’ll be able to pick myself up again.
I mean, I can’t stand uncertainty.
Worse…I can’t stand outright animosity!
Today I was wondering where all the boundaries went…
The ones that say, “this close, but no closer, please.”
Her undercurrent of anger went all over me like glitter on glue
And I dissolved with this uncomfortable familiarity—
Feeling like I’d been chewed up and spit out.
Shaking and crying are not my favorite way to deal…

Somehow, I let her feelings matter more than mine
And I felt so very, very small.
I am who I am, and I thought she knew me—
At least better than her words told me she did.
Obviously, she doesn’t, and that hurts
More than all the anger did.
I know. I know.
What person knows everything about another?
Still, when it comes to this one issue…
Years down the road, she doesn’t know me in this?
I must have been fooling myself all this time.

This interchange was not between friends,
Not today anyway.
This conversation was between two strangers.
The failure at understanding was mutual.
Maybe some time when she feels like calling
At some unspecified future point…
Maybe we will be old friends meeting again.
Today’s exchange will slink into the background,
Smoothed over and ignored in an effort to reconnect.
Or maybe this time, on top of the other times that
Were “smoothed over and ignored” will become
The crooked piece of track that derails us.
I rather hope not, though.
Perhaps we can talk this one out and
Come to understand each other better…
As friends do.

faith

Coherence

Clarity sparkles like the sun glinting off the water.
Thoughts flow smoothly along
Following the light toward a definite goal,
(It all makes so much sense!)
Till vision takes shape, and words
Start falling into place one by one or
Sometimes phrases at a time…

My story unfolds itself into a comfortable couch.
Here I lie, feet up and reclined, listening
To the relaxed rumble of coherence turning
Chaos into logic, making sense out of nonsense.
Peace by pieces is settling inside me
Filling my soul with reminders of His goodness.