Poem Index:

Ad Infinitum A Soulful Prayer Atmospheric Art
Bird With Broken Wing Bright Side Of Winter Childhood Heartbreak
Civil War Crucible Desert Storm
Fingerprint For Janice For One I Love
Grins Hazel Kisses Hope, Grace For The Future
In Progress Invitation To Friendship I Still Choose
I Write Journey July
Just Maybe Just To Be Near Him Living Water
Lord, You Are Meditations of a Divorceé Mercy Prayer
Mixup Moondreams Mornings
Mother’s Music O Lord, I Follow Passion For Expression
Place of Grief Ponderings Possibilities
Prayer Pre-Dawn Psalm 911
Psalm Of Sorrow Remember Your Mother Rest
Revival Prayer Silent Wonder Sipping At Yesterday
Sleepless Spring Shower Still Here
Stillness Sweet Solace In You The Calling
The Christmas Message The Poet The Same Spirit
The Storm This Is War! Tide Of Time
Till Sorrow Has Its Way Troubled Waters Universe Of You
When I Need A Friend    

STILLNESS

Settling into stillness, I find you again deep in the silence of my soul,
Moving gently, softly, swiftly like a spring breeze swirling around my pillars of pain
Melting the hardness of anger into rivers of sorrow—
A grief momentarily unquenchable…
Until you give me peace in the midst of the storm raging inside of me.

I sit staring into nothing…
Blindly wishing for resolution and not merely surcease
Still, I am aware of you—utterly in control, absolutely in charge,
Though I struggle endlessly against your hand holding me close to your heart.

I could wish to be other than I am,
Yet I know to the core that I am what you made me—
Called, chosen, predestined as your vessel.
It is in this that I find hope, and grace to trust you
Despite what I have walked through… am walking through.
Your presence reassures me of your love,
Helping me to find you again as I settle into a peaceful stillness.

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* * * * *

SWEET SOLACE IN YOU

There is solace for the sorely weary soul
Beyond the dreams of unfulfilled wishes and fairy-tales—
Ephemeral wisps of fantasy at best, drifting
Just out of reach of wistful, childish grasp.
Instead, a deep-down rich river feeds the reaching roots and life
Slowly seeps up into the system with more satisfying refreshment…
Real respite rather than temporary fix.

As I lay my head down at long last in the lap of Your welcoming love,
Loneliness escapes me. Life is too short to be impatient,
Too full to be skimmed through quickly in vain haste to attain…
What? A possession? A relationship? A healing?
Tonight I am satisfied to rest here with You in my solitude.
The worries of yesterday vanish like the wind.
The anxieties of tomorrow can wait until then.

The pain of existence simply is what it is—a distraction.
The joy of real living surpasses what I feel.
There is anger; there is sorrow; there is regret for past mistakes;
But in this moment I find contented peace in Your presence.
A sense of angels fills the room and I am less alone now than I
Have ever been in the company of humankind…
And I, weary soul that I am, find sweet solace in You.

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* * * * *

THE POET

I write the dreams of angels with my pen
Like cascading waterfalls streaming across a blank page
Words… letters… mere symbols of sounds
Which bear poignant meaning only to those with
A listening ear… or perhaps an attentive eye.
I sing the songs of mute souls, brushing my pen across
The heartstrings of those who cannot weep
Until tears flow like laughter bubbling out of a delighted child.
Blank white stares up at me sometimes like a red flag in front of a bull—
Challenging me to reach inside my core, to draw out a drink for the thirsty.
Sometimes I find only desert sand, but I still reach
Pawing through memories and emotions,
Thoughts and ideas flitting just beyond my fingertips.
If I sit still long enough and wait patiently enough,
I am rewarded with rich treasure—
The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
The words flow then, like a fountain, as angels
Paint their dreams across my heart.
My pen moves in its own rhythm, dancing to an unheard beat.
I am aware of the hearts around me
Longing for the drum to play their song
Sing their sorrows, utter their longings…
Each one wishing to be known by another.
It is a lonely existence sometimes, this dreaming with angels.
As I write what others feel, I find myself set apart.
Where is the soul who will hear my silent song—
The inexpressible longing for “other? to meet with me,
To understand me, to tell me I am desired and accepted?
My Creator comforts me when I can be eased by no other—
Whispers that destiny, though not yet seen, is still real… and imminent,
If I but let it come, flowing through my pen as the gift that it is—
Reaching, touching, healing through me,
Sometimes to me, but not for me alone.
So, I keep on writing the dreams of angels,
Letting myself take flight on the wings of words…

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* * * * *

REST

I find my way through flowing fields of flowers
To deeper green of newborn vibrant grass;
And I will stay beneath His quiet power,
Beside the stream that slowly trickles past.
A gnawing hunger deep inside of me,
Below the surface stillness in my soul,
Keeps drawing me—His presence I will seek
And give His healing hands complete control.
In righteousness He guides me through His path—
I fear no death or evil when He leads.
There’s nothing like His rod and His great staff
To comfort me when I am in great need.
He feeds me though my enemies surround
Anointing me with oil of hope and grace.
His goodness and His love will e’er abound
And I shall rest within His house always.

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* * * * *

SPRING SHOWER

I feel your presence more in wind and rain
Than in the shelter of the worship hall.
My face upturned, I feel the soothing spray
Like kisses coming down upon us all.
The breezes of your Spirit wrap around
My head, my arms, my body, legs and feet—
A hug so full my heart can hear the sound
Of singing birds, like angels oh so sweet.
My soul rejoices in the beauty of
The gentle grace of spring that’s in the air.
The clouds that blanket us, like your great love
Are deep and wide and high and long and fair
With beauty that can never be defined,
Yet still reveal your purposes divine!

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* * * * *

SLEEPLESS

I lie here, sleepless, thinking of you,
Listening to the music of emerald fields and sapphire skies…
It is indescribable, this overwhelming emotion that
Grips me—a sense of anticipation.
Though tomorrow may be like today and
The next day the same,
Yet, some undercurrent has shifted in my life again.
The rolling thunder of your presence
Changes the rhythm in my heart
Like a sub-bass beat pulsing through my body.
You call to me and I come.

As if I had a choice, I run with all my passion
Hoping that you can change me
When I have hit the wall inside that
Tells me I cannot change myself.
Still, there is a calmness I find in this wakefulness—
A pervasive sense of you
More real than I have felt in a long, long time.
…Where have I been?
Let me lie here in your arms, O Lord,
And find real rest again.

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* * * * *

A SOULFUL PRAYER

Pursued by you, I find myself in need again.
Your loving arms and hands still guide my way.
I cry so hard it’s difficult to breathe again,
But all you are keeps drawing me to pray.
Without a word you reach into my wounded heart,
Embracing every hurting, angry place.
You help me let things go and find a brand new start
Covering me with mercy and with grace.

Renewed by you, I walk within your presence now
Surrounded with the knowledge of your love
In fresh new ways your Spirit speaks and shows me how
To rest in you and fix my eyes above.
I lie before you trusting you to raise me up
Fulfilling every promise you have made.
You give me love for those whose lives you let me touch
Revealing answers to the prayers I’ve prayed.

I call to you, pursued by you, renewed by you.
Embracing you, I rest in you and trust in you.
You pour your loving Spirit out with power, Lord,
And I will speak your life with love as you give words.

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* * * * *

THE CALLING

It’s pointless to ponder it.
You are the potter and I am the clay…
And yet I still wonder if
You couldn’t let me be where I would stay—
Here in my corner, hid from the crowd
I would be quiet. Let others be loud.

But I love you dearly, Lord
Your loving-kindness has given me life.
I will obey your word—
Trusting you in all my heartache and strife.
Your love pours through me and I can’t be still.
Help me, Lord Jesus, to walk out your will.

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* * * * *

ATMOSPHERIC ART

I stand beneath a purple sky spattered with gray and white,
Vaguely tinted with yellowish orange here and there
While the blood-red rim of the world hangs on the horizon.
A thin crescent moon floats sleepily above it all
As wispy fingers of cloud reach toward sunset.

The sky doesn’t look like the sky tonight…
Rather, foggy lakes flow beyond the fuzzy hills
(Dotted with street lights).
Beyond the lakes, more hills, more lakes,
Until it seems like islands fill a vast ocean of atmosphere.

Daylight is fading, but I cannot shake the perspective…
Layers of reality lace my vision with
A renewed appreciation for the intricacy of atmospheric art
Unbounded by canvas borders or picture frames—
An infinite, indescribably majestic grandeur.

As the colors dim towards night,
With its different beauty beckoning my soul,
I relinquish definition and revel in the brushed-over
Mixture of clouds moving onwards,
Meshing white, gray, yellow and pale blue into
A demure golden-brown twilight ahead of me.

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* * * * *

SIPPING AT YESTERDAY

It is a taste of yesterday
To sit here by candlelight
The stage well-lit while ever-hopeful hearts
Lay themselves bare–
Each one sure of superiority
In a massive meeting of talented mediocrity
The individuals above average on their own
Sit beside others above…
Become merely average again.

In my bittersweet memory I bear the scars
Of a man who struggled to rise above and failed miserably.
He walked away and left me,
Shaking me off with hateful bitterness,
Relegating me to the sidelines
Like I was just another competetive critic.

…Maybe I was, now that I consider,
Longing for straightforward security
Rather than the dregs of broken dreams.
That door slammed shut when
He found another critic to keep her mouth closed.

Now I simply sit sipping at yesterday,
Trying to taste the presence of today.

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* * * * *

The Same Spirit

We watch with the awe of the creature
When Creator sweeps daylight away
By swift-moving clouds with their thunder
As lightning and rain hold sway,
But it always reminds me of mercy—
The display of His powerful might.
The infinite Lord of the heavens
Was a babe in a manger one night.
The authority of His carpenter’s hand
Rendered healing with gentle grace.
The same Spirit swept through with fiery wind
That draws sweetly to seek His face.

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* * * * *

STILL HERE

There seems nothing left to say that I have not said before
All the words fall on the page like jagged pieces of thoughts—
No coherence or lucidity about them, dribbling away to nowhere…
Shards of broken heart embedded somewhere in the twisted knots.

Introspection takes me to the same dead end;
Observation helps me forget about me for a while;
Entertainment proves a most useful distraction;
But in the end I breathe another breath, walk another mile,

Find that time flows on like a liquid flood
Inundating me with living until I choke on life,
Coughing and sputtering and shaking my head,
A vehement passion to live rising…God knows why.

Somehow all the jigsaw pieces start fitting together.
The “whys? never matter in the final analysis.
I am who I am now, myself like no other.
The ticking of time’s passage breaks my paralysis,

Because, ultimately, words are just words.
It is my stubborn heart that perseveres—
Refusing to give up on me, on life. Absurd
As it all seems to be… I am still here.

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* * * * *

PRE-DAWN

It is in the pre-dawn light I see you
With the sky still full of night.
It was still dark when suddenly,
The quality of the darkness changed and
I could tell morning had come,
Though daylight had not yet arrived.

It is like the dawning of your Spirit
Here where the hearts of men seem so evil.
When it seems there is no hope left, suddenly
The quality of unbelief changes and
I can tell your love moves in a heart
Though full Sonship has not yet arrived.

Draw me to praise you in the midnight hour,
Through the long, dark, night of the soul
When I cannot feel you… and suddenly
I know your presence is with me
Though I still flounder, awaiting the miraculous,
Wanting the fullness of manifest glory.

It is a pre-dawn light, the dawning of your Spirit,
To know that when my expectations are not met,
You meet me in the darkness and change my heart
That I may trust you for all that you are
Rather than all that you have to give.

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* * * * *

BIRD WITH BROKEN WING

If I could only let go
This life would not hold me so harshly.
You speak to me of freedom and love,
Of mercy and grace.
It is a far cry from fear—
This thing you call grace.
Still, I find, despite my seeking,
My passionate pursuit of you
In your passionate pursuit of me,
That some invisible wall separates us.

I feel like the wounded bird
In a cage with the door open,
Your gentle hand extended,
Knowing you offer open meadows,
Tall trees and fresh spring water.
I am still afraid of you, unable to move at all,
Wishing for some strength within
To help me reach for you.
Always, it seems, just when I think I can trust
Someone knocks the cage off the shelf and I
Am battered by my prison.
My wings are broken and I cannot fly.

So, I find myself waiting again.
If you do not take me out of bondage,
I cannot get out myself.
I do not know how to let go,
But I am crying to you to release me.
Rescue me from me.
Liberate me to you.
Let me love you without walls.

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* * * * *

GRINS

I had a little tickle once that spread up to my eyes.
Before I knew what hit me, I was smiling with surprise.
The tickle trickled up my gut and bubbled to a laugh,
For someone special smiled with me and helped me to relax.
We settled into grinning, but those spread from ear to ear.
Before long we collapsed again and wiped our happy tears.
Completely uncontrollable, it lasted for an hour.
When we were done, it felt as if my soul had had a shower.
It’s true, just as the scripture says, that laughter is the best.
It’s medicine for all your ills, and ultimate heart’s rest.
So find someone you care about and spread a friendly grin.
They won’t resist if you persist and surely will give in.

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* * * * *

JOURNEY

It’s a long, long road I travel now.
I take it step by step by step.
Although the hills I climb are steep,
He gives me perseverance yet.
I find that every brand new day
Holds out His promise to me still.
I trust in every word He gave.
I rest within His sovereign will.

I plant the seeds He says to sow,
Though I might never see the fruit.
The end is not for me to know—
He’s still the light, the way, the truth…

The nights are sometimes very dark
And my heart fills with weary grief.
Still I sing, “Jesus loves me so,?
Till dawn brings loving, sweet relief.
He’s always there to pick me up.
I find contentment by His side.
His mercies ever overflow
To me, part of His chosen bride.

I plant the seeds He says to sow,
Though I might never see the fruit.
The end is not for me to know—
He’s still the light, the way, the truth…

And life is so uncertain, but He is my key to hope.
His calling is my purpose and His path my safest road.

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* * * * *

FOR ONE I LOVE

We talk on the phone, you and I,
Sharing anecdotes and stories we can both appreciate
I tell of my little ones, you talk of work…
And when the silences fall between us
I discover there is little that we really share
Aside from blood relation and sincere affection.
It is odd to find that I care so much
For someone I really barely know.
How could I know you?
We are a generation and hundreds of miles apart.
We share similar values in one sense,
But view other issues from diametrically opposing sides.
We share offenses by the same person in common,
Yet I forgive and you hold bitter resentment
As your bosom companion.
Sometimes in the night, I weep for you and long to know
How I can reach through the multiple barriers
That make the silences uncomfortable
Forcing us to fill up with words
A space that I wonder will ever cease to exist…
But I shall never give up trying to know you,
To love you, to pray for you—
Even when words fail us both and
We are forced to hang up the phone.

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* * * * *

JUST MAYBE…

Waffling around in the throes of indecision,
Uncertainty, and sometimes utter confusion,
I find I am not truly lonely after all…
It is not direction I seek at the moment,
Only recognition of our togetherness in our not-aloneness.
A reassuring hand in mine, rather than crowd agreement.
I stand in this vast place with so many others.
We all want a companion to walk beside us,
Yet refuse to reach for the available hands.
Our requirements are so stringent,
Our vision is so lofty, so far-off-mountaintop-ish,
That the one right next to us escapes our view.
I am looking for you now—
Not restlessly,
Not across the crowd,
Not on the other side of some unrevealed door,
But here… now… in the faces of those I know,
Those I see every day or every week.
Maybe I have known you for weeks or month or years.
Still, as I rest from the strain of reaching “out there?,
Perhaps I shall learn contentment in place of grasping
Or maybe I will recognize you closer up…
Either way, I choose to find wholeness in my Creator,
Because alone does not have to mean lonely.
My ambivalence at where I stand is not unpleasant anymore,
Simply a bemused wondering at how this will turn out,
With an odd sort of carefree attitude about it all.
My human curiosity is a vague undercurrent
To the steady tide of happenings—positive and negative.
Life is full and well and good.
If I do not find you, life is still full and well and good,
Because I walk beside friends,
Holding family in high esteem,
Loving as best I can,
Letting go when I need to.
You just be you and maybe… just maybe…
We will find each other—you and I.

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* * * * *

THE CHRISTMAS MESSAGE

A star, a child, one fateful night,
Two thousand years to celebrate
How angels heralded love’s light
Which came to conquer sin and hate.
Lights on house and tree and hill
Remind us of Light of the World—
Meek strength of love that’s shining still,
Infinity through all time hurled.

This sweet season of remembrance
Comes to us each year and brings
New beginnings, second chances—
Rejoicing hearts His praises sing.
For deep within each heart of man
The seed of truth still quiet lays
And more will come to understand
The plan of the Ancient of Days.

The priceless gift of great “I AM?,
The babe who came so meek and mild,
Became the sacrificial lamb
So God and man could reconcile.
Lay down your life; bring Him your heart;
Come bow before the Lord of Love.
His Christmas message we impart:
The infant then, now reigns above.

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* * * * *

Moondreams

Moondreams and starthoughts
Float through the night sky as I stare out
Rain pours down from clouds thick with
Worries and cares and responsibility
Still, I dream beyond the clouds
Soaring above life with carefree thoughts
What I see and hear is not as real as
The possibilities… endless optimism at work—
Fantastical night lights weaving themselves
Into a blanket of visions
It warms my soul again until I snuggle down,
Close my eyes, rest my mind in hope
And cast off the worries of the day
So I can sleep in the peaceful palm of God’s hand

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* * * * *

MERCY PRAYER

I can’t get out on paper what I really want to say.
Emotions overrun my words till I can only pray.
The groanings deep within me crash like waves upon the shore.
I bow down in silence lying prostrate on the floor.

A reverence for Almighty God, His holiness and love,
Hovers like a glory-cloud descended from above.
No word that I can utter is enough to speak my heart,
So I stretch forth with all I am to give Him every part.

Although I lie before my Lord in weakness and in tears,
His hand of great compassion reaches out to calm my fears.
My human frailty lets Him down. I fail at every turn,
But try again, and yet again, still hoping I will learn.

Sweet Jesus, Lamb of sacrifice, come lift me from despair
Help me to rest within your grace and give you every care.
Work in my life and change me, please. I cannot change myself,
But I will open up my life to Holy Spirit’s help.

Give me strength to let go of what I don’t understand,
To trust you even when I hurt and lie within your hand.
Dear Father God, I run to you. Defeat my enemy.
For I am weak, but You are strong. In you I am set free.

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* * * * *

PSALM OF SORROW

I feel torn in two, Lord.
Motherhood and daughterhood pull at me.
You are my Father
Asking me to let go and let you…
Yet my children draw at my heart.

I grieve for them again and then,
Turning away from the sorrow
As if it were a spent coin,
I bolster my heart with anger–
Telling myself again that You
Are my defense, my fortress, my advocate…

My silent, patient advocate!
This feeling that you are doing nothing
Makes me feel resentful of you–
Years of waiting, extended agony of soul–
Yet still you ask me to trust you.

Can I do otherwise?
The arm of men, including my own,
Has failed me repeatedly.
My own strength drains away
Like water through a sieve.
I am left with nothing… except You.

My mind pulls and tugs at the wound,
Twisting and turning restlessly,
Shaping words into sharp weapons.
I find that I can but lay my weapons aside.
I only cut myself in my use of them.
Silence. Faith. Trust.
Humility and the fear of the Lord.
These are my shield.

You surround me with light,
Comfort my soul,
Tell me it is okay to cry,
Lift me from the pit of despair,
And shut the mouth of the devouring lion,
Until my anger, too, is spent.
Mend my broken heart, O Lord.
Unite my heart to fear you once more.

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* * * * *

THE STORM

The long sought-after inner place of peace
Eludes my soul, so thirsty for a drink
While my mind races, my heart ill at ease,
All my thoughts rumble, restless, as I think.

An undetermined number of things
Zing through my brain
Just like a train.
The roar of busyness and anguish sings

An off-key, dirge-like lullaby that gives no rest.
I close my eyes and in my dreams rummage ‘round,
Looking for something within to calm the tempest.
I should know where to look, but it can’t be found.

I’m hiding away from self again—
Angry at best…
Failing the test…
Not learning yet to let go of pain.

I flail my arms amid a sea of details
That won’t leave me alone a single moment.
My brain’s ability to whirl seems to pale
Beneath a new insanely spinning torment…

Peace, be still my soul, comes soft command
To stop the reeling,
Bringing feeling
To a quiet halt that lets me stand

Firm, unmoving on the solidness of Rock—
So He, not I, may take control of things,
So I can rest despite the details run amok
Beneath the shelt’ring shadow of His wings.

Dark confusion scatters to the winds.
Peace comes at last.
The storm has passed.
My soul refreshed, tranquility ascends

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* * * * *

TIDE OF TIME

The new year is upon me with the suddenness of the tide’s turn.
The old year bled slowly away without realization or thought,
But in an instant time encroaches once again on my awareness.
Sorrow for moments lost, for hasty words, for past events, and
For people gone out of my life has a bitter sweetness about it.
Memories age like fine wine and I have left regret behind me.
The intoxication of anticipation overtakes me…
Joy unspeakable in this moment.

The silence of indrawn breath is my symphony.
My inner listening ear and seeking eye let in
The majestic future with its rainbow promise.
Hopkins’ grandeur of God whispers
Hope to my frail, unseeing soul,
So I may revel in rebirth once more
“Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings?*
And I…
Breathe deeply out again in relief
As I welcome the incoming tide of time.

*?God’s Grandeur? by Gerard Manley Hopkins

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* * * * *

FINGERPRINT

When all fair verse is spent on work and play
And all songs penned with melody and rhyme,
Till one poor soul with just a word to say
Must stoop to mental digging every time.
What is there left that’s not been put to words
Or spun into some great harmonious tune?
To uncreative mind it’s all been heard.
Even silence is as old as silver moon…
Still I will yearn to say what’s in my heart
By crafting every letter that I pen
Into another written piece of art
And change the old for newness once again.
Each artist must push through to pass the test,
To not give up or let himself be swayed.
What lies within the soul must be expressed—
The fingerprint of God within us made.

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* * * * *

CRUCIBLE

(Heb. 12:1-12)

As it comes, so it will
Words of hope, speaking still
Pouring oil, fanning flame
Burning heart, not the same
Rooting out all the ill
Changing life, changing will

Killing old, raising new
Fixing eyes on what’s true
Pressing on, through the test
Standing firm in His rest
Letting go, clinging, too
Jesus’ love brings us through

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* * * * *

MOTHER’S MUSIC

It was a ragged little thing—
The old blanket of my infancy.
I used to curl up in a corner,
Cuddle with it, hide from the world,
Close my eyes and listen to my mother
Playing her heart out on the piano…

Practicing scales in futile frustration,
Pounding out Beethoven in anger, and then
Softly fingering the old hymns as she
Sang her sorrows to the Lord
While I sucked my thumb and
Buried my tears in the blanket.

Father’s rage lingered in the air,
But we two left the house
On the wings of mother’s music…

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* * * * *

Psalm 911

Through storms of weeping you have led me.
In desert trials your hand has fed me.
In darkest nights when I can’t see,
You lift my soul and carry me;
“So, let this night be no exception,?
I cry, renouncing all deception.
You, my Shepherd and my Guide,
Alone can turn the raging tide.

I want your presence; I am willing
To have your Spirit in me dwelling.
In your secret place I’ll hide.
‘Neath holy wings I will abide.
As in your image I am fashioned,
Let my life be one of passion—
Zeal for you and love for all,
Following your holy call.

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* * * * *

DESERT STORM

I hear You when I listen.
My inner eye sees You
Standing strong, golden in desert robes,
Holding me in the shelter of Your arms
While the storm rages around us.
Somehow, though You whisper my name,
I hear, despite the noise of wailing winds.
I look up into Your lion-amber eyes
Seeing determination and tender strength.
Though I hide my head again, seeking respite,
Your consolation and protection give me security…
Then you are gone—
Unseen, but not unfelt or unknown.
It seems I stand solitary while the sand swirls,
Yet, I am not afraid, not alone,
Trusting you to shelter me until the wildness abates.
Your living water wells up within me,
Slaking my thirst
Even in the midst of this desert storm.

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* * * * *

PONDERINGS

Staring at the page, I wonder where the time has gone.
When all I loved went other ways, still I just settled down.
The relatives are far away and family as well—
Except for little brother here, who calls his life his own.

My kids live with their daddy and come visit all the time,
But it’s just not the same as when we used to be one home.
I cried my tears of bittersweet and wept when Mom and Dad
Went separate ways like all the rest and left me all alone.

So here I am and learning still to stand and let God heal,
To love the people that He sends as family from Him.
I want to keep on trying, though I often long to quit,
For He is real and faithful even when my hope is dim.

The path has been so very hard, but when the days seem long,
I’ve learned that I can rest in Christ and fix my eyes above.
He persevered and so can I because He lives in me.
His life within is joy and strength, and all-fulfilling love.

Just don’t give up and don’t lose heart. When life is at its worst,
Remember Jesus was a man and knows our every fear.
His grace is all you’ll ever need; His mercy’s ever new;
His love is wide and long and deep, an all-surrounding sphere.

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* * * * *

Bright Side Of Winter

The cool crispness of winter sunshine beckons me outdoors
Away from the hum of office business pulling me towards
Open air, cool as it is, beautifully breathtaking—
Cottony clouds in blues skies… normally summer’s thing…
But not today.
Today winter displays her bright side with frigid flair.

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* * * * *

HOPE, GRACE FOR THE FUTURE

Musing on reminiscences and regrets again—
Yet another reminder of the intransigent nature of time.
There is no going back, only forwards.

Take the mistakes and remake them into…
Something good, we hope.
Build on the successes and shape them into…
Something better, we hope.

Hope, the ephemeral foundation
On which we foster future efforts,
Solidifies itself through exercise of habit.
Opportunities abound for the optimist
While the world closes in for the despairing.

Dreams and visions pave the way of purpose and
Setbacks are the rite of passage for the persistent.
The goal is well worth enduring towards
Exertion is its own reward,
But achievement is its own satisfaction.

Hope…
Strength for the journey,
Reliance on the Path-builder.
Self fails.
It always will,
But there is still future.
The next instant, Grace
Steps in and renews Hope again.

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* * * * *

PRAYER

Conversation.
Person to person
Mundane or magnificent,
Humor or empathy or admonition.
Not just speaking… listening.
Companionship, relaxing
Interchange of ideas,
Inspiration.

Joy.
A burst of heavenly emotion
Uncontainable.
Arms flung out, feet in motion,
Voice raised in ardent song
Or wordless melody of love.
Childlike, carefree whirl of celebration
Interwoven with angelic wings
As they join hands and dance along.

Worship.
Awestruck by holy God.
Solemn focus.
Eyes shut, heart open,
Soul laid bare with yearning adulation.
Spirit centered on Creator—
Not what He does or gives,
But Who He Is.
Divine invitation to fully live.

Petition.
Passion pouring forth.
Heart uplifted, hands outstretched,
Restless pacing, kneeling,
Rocking concentration,
Sometimes literal gut-wrenching supplication,
Face down,
Body prostrate on the floor.

Rest.
Quiet solitude with unseen Presence,
Wrapped in intimate comfort,
Wordless communion between friends,
Serenity that steals slowly
Across all intrusive thoughts—
Inner silence, unshakable contentment.

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* * * * *

Living Water

A drink of Living Water, please.
I cannot quench this thirst
So I am begging on my knees
For you to touch me first
I want to lay down on my face
To let your love soak in
To let the torrent of your grace
Come wash away my sin

I am so very dry within
Though I feel close to you
I’ve found you very faithful, Friend,
And so forgiving, too
Yet something deep inside my heart
Still longs for so much more
I’ve gotten just a little part
Of you. Please hear me, Lord…

I’m pressing on to reach the goal
With everything I have
But I need your refreshing, Lord
Along this weary path
So pour out Living Water, please.
I beg with all my soul.
Don’t hold back any water, please!
Let rivers overflow…

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* * * * *

CIVIL WAR

I struggle moment by moment with my shortcomings.
Faced with failure and inadequacy,

I grasp at grace and scurry for mercy—
Crying desperately for some hope,
Some sign that I can change.

I keep slamming into the brick wall of myself
Until this bruised and bloody mess of me
Sits at the foot of the wall sobbing,
Like a small child longing for
The comfort of its mother to take away the pain.

I stare sightlessly, blinded by grief,
Longing for a home that was long ago destroyed…
If it ever existed…

I rage in my impotence—
Thrashing about, lashing out in some feeble attempt
To expend all the emotion that has fueled my despair.
Some inner, shut-off part of me whispers that
There is peace to be found; and

I find self wrestling self
With a desperation I didn’t know I possessed—
Reason overthrown by some convoluted logic,
Longing beyond longing welling up as

I grip my arms, curl up in a ball and
Pray with all my might for Father’s arms
To pick me up, release this internal knot,
Untangle the confusion and heal this
Gaping sense of homelessness that bleeds a river of sorrow.

I shut my eyes tightly, fixing my vision on
Nail-scarred hands, spear-pierced side, and forgiving eyes,
Breath held, inhaling as much Holy Presence as I can bear.

I am still asking, still seeking, still knocking,
Still hoping against undared hope
For release from my self-made prison.

I fly on your eagle’s wings,
Fettered, yet, by my humanity,
Wondering if I can ever find balance,
Certain that if there are answers,
They are only to be found in you,
My infinite fountain of mercy!

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* * * * *

INVITATION TO FRIENDSHIP

Is it fit for us to meet and not be friends
When I find you so much fun to be around?
Shall we part ways as if this were the end?
Come talk with me again. Here let’s sit down.

You have a sunny smile and pleasant voice.
You listen well and have so much to say.
And I’m learning I can make a better choice
If I will let today just be today.

I don’t know what tomorrow’s sunrise holds,
Just give a brand new friend another chance.
I’m patient now to see how this unfolds—
A smile, a nod, or conversation’s glance…

For now, I only want to let you know,
I’m open to whatever Father plans.
I trust Him in this season as I grow.
I look to Him and lay you in His hands.

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* * * * *

Lord, You Are

There’s a yearning deep within
To be free of all my sin
Letting Your blood wash away each guilty stain
Yet I find that I am weak
Sometimes I can’t even speak
And I’m falling on Your mercy once again

When I can’t reach out for you
Your sweet Spirit pulls me through
And I find that You are reaching out for me
Desperate longing in my soul
Reassures You won’t let go
You’ll complete Your work begin to set me free

Lord, I know with all my heart
Each day is a brand new start
So I’m choosing now to place my hope in You
On my own I can’t go far
Yet You draw me, Morning Star,
To the heights of glory only found in You.

Lord, You are my Precious Savior
Lord, You are life at work within
Lord, You are my hope of glory
I can rest beneath Your wings and call You, Friend.

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* * * * *

IN PROGRESS

Never mind the mess, please, I have so much more to do.
I am working on it slowly. I hope that’s okay with you.
Just when I can’t stand another bit, I stop and close my eyes
And pretend that I am finished… then I heave a great, big sigh.
I get right back to my cleaning, praying harder as I go
That I’ll have strength to continue and more grace to help me grow.

I would worry when folks met me that I wasn’t good enough,
But I’m learning every minute not to sweat the petty stuff.
Everybody has a mess, though they may shut the closet door.
Still, I’m not very thorough, ‘less I spread it on the floor.
I’ve got piles of this and piles of that and piles to throw away.
I have found it much more helpful when I use the light of day.

There are spaces that are finished and look wonderfully clean
And it gives me hope for all the rest, as on God’s arm I lean.
So, I thank you for your patience, as we’re cleaning up my life,
For my God and I are partners and I let Him shine His light.
He picks me up when I am down and helps me to go on.
Together we can do it with His mercy new each dawn.

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* * * * *

CHILDHOOD HEARTBREAK

Their hearts ache… and mine?
Mine aches with them
For all the hopes and dreams they’ve cherished
Now dashed to the ground yet again—
Young hearts and lives paying a tall price for
Someone else’s unwise choices.
One speaks in soft anxious tones about
What ifs and what will bes
Sounding so grown up for such a young woman.
One reaches without words for my comfort
As if momma’s hugs and kisses will make
The heart hurt go away just like the knee scrapes.
One sobs his heart out in young, broken
Fear of the tearing in his future.
“Will I get to see her again?? he asks.
I nod a solemn promise to make sure he will
Despite the oddity of that—momma helping step-momma.
The youngest only wants to sleep.
He binds his hurt inside like someone
I once knew all too well.
I used to do that, too,
But sooner or later it comes out.
I can only pray comfort and redemption
Over all of this as they walk through
Their own wilderness of childhood heartbreak—
That He will meet them there
Just as He has always met me…
But their hearts ache and mine aches with them.

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* * * * *

SILENT WONDER

Wonders will never cease where the Artist of artists
Moves His brush or chisel or clay-stained hands.
A grand sky covers the vast earth woven together at
The edges of sight by molten, fiery sunset in the east and
Fuzzy darkness of cloudy night in the west.
Sparkles of lightning bugs distract me from vastness
To marvel at the miniscule, crafted with equally careful detail.
Manufactured interruptions of man’s monument to himself
Only accentuate the beauty until, upon closer unfocused examination,
They too, blur into the larger canvas—
Artistry of created complimenting artistry of Creator
Even in their ignorance or rebellion.

In blind silence I still my beating heart to feel His indefinable Presence
Marking the solemn moment with fresh vision…
An immeasurable vista seen through closed eyelids,
A glimpse of glory bursting into my spirit with all the power of Vesuvius!
And I…I falter… fumbling with words in feeble attempt to express my awe—
A vague effort to imitate my Creator in my creating.
Finally, staring at the post-sunset horizon I fade into silence again,
Content to appreciate HIS handiwork…

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* * * * *

UNIVERSE OF YOU

This universe of you is worth exploring
Like a starship on its way,
I find new things every day
To pique my interest and to keep me searching.
As each new constellation comes to light,
Another part of you
Fascinates my novice view—
Astounded by the brilliance of your night.

I am so very consciously aware…
This ship which navigates
Is exposed in all her states.
In return, I feel the Universe’s stare.
I would like to think that it’s all right with you—
This baring of my being
To the clearness of your seeing,
Though it frightens me with all this so brand new.

But, the journey as I understand it now
Is simply observation…
Yet without reservation
I can say you’re very gracious to allow
My exploration of your universe.
I delight in what I see
Hoping you delight in me
As we find new horizons to traverse.

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* * * * *

AD INFINITUM…

What more is there to say?
You awe me speechless
With your smiling eyes and tender words.
The unexpected acts of kind consideration
Are the most incredible of all to me.
I find myself humbled…
Falling in love more deeply
Each time we meet, each time we talk,
Each time we touch in the smallest of ways.

What more can be said?
Yet still I try to articulate
This vast ocean of emotion inside me.
The words feel more like barriers than bridges,
So I come back to silence—
Gazing into your eyes with all my soul
Exposed through these windows into me,
Hoping you can understand
The essence of what I want to convey.

What is left to tell you?
Except the familiar words…
I love you.
Saying that will never be enough for me.
I can but continue to couch my expressions
In look and touch and every day actions.
If you will allow me,
I will show you how much I love you,
Over and over and over and over…
Ad infinitum…

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* * * * *

HAZEL KISSES

Your kisses, sweet as the softest confections,
Turn my insides into rivulets of molten lava.
I stare into your deep pools of hazel blue
Awed by the variations of emotion flowing across your face
Like the infinitely changing patterns and colors
In a breeze-blown summer sunset sky—
Even matching the immeasurable depth of color
Just after sundown before full night falls.
Then I see the sparkle of joy that fills my soul
Reflected in your eyes like the star-filled night.
You reach to caress my face with tender gentleness,
Moving the wayward strands of hair aside
So you can kiss me again without distraction,
Drawing back to love me with your eyes…
A wordless reassurance I have needed for oh, so long.
Somehow, I keep thinking you
Are the answer to unnumbered prayers
Of longing and desperation to the Lord.
Something inside of me breathes
A long, deep sigh of relaxation and trust…
(For the first time ever)
…All because you love me.

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* * * * *

JULY

Fair July is a month of hot weather
It’s a time when we all get together
For parades and ice cream,
Fireworks as they scream
Through the sky like the lightest of feathers.

It has set all the breezes ablaze—
This hot sun on these long summer days.
So we go for a swim
On the whiff of a whim,
Cooling off in the finest of ways.

But it so marks the passage of time.
Half the year is already behind.
Before we all know,
We’ll be staring at snow
While the next year begins to unwind.

So, let summer fun have its day
Enjoy the alluring array
Of the lights in the sky,
Of our friends standing by
As these moments make memories to stay.

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* * * * *

TROUBLED WATERS

I see your purposes, O Lord,
Moving in subtleties and secret paths
Underneath the surface of Bethesda’s pool.
Here I sit, baffled by all the turbulence,
Wondering if some unseen, unknown help
Will help me step down into your healing…
It seems clear to me that it is
Only in the midst of the turmoil
That I will find your strength to stand and walk again
Still, I repose unmoving on the sidelines—
Watching, waiting, groaning within my soul in prayer
For those I love being battered
By the waves of uncertainty,
Petitioning the God of the angel who troubles the waters
For grace and strength and courage
To step beyond myself into
The movement of your hand in their lives.

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* * * * *

MORNINGS

Mornings come to me all fresh and new
With the scent of promise drifting by on the sun’s rays,
The tinkling melody of possibility whispering in the breeze.
Once again I find I cannot help myself,
So I sit in the window, arms wrapped around bare knees,
Gazing with longing at the plethora of colors
Assaulting my senses mercilessly.

Some part of me wishes to grasp the offered gifts
Knowing a hope and a future await me out there.
Another part of me weeps with desolation
At the wreck and ruin I have so often chosen instead
Until self entraps self in the cycle
Of regret and despair I am so familiar with.

I reach for the morning light of hope
With the same desperation I always have
Longing for change and for rescue
Wondering if I will come up empty-handed again.

My nights encroach on me from countless directions.
I fight them off with the single, bare
Candle-flame of my stubborn refusal to quit.
Optimism and pessimism war ceaselessly in my breast
As I look out each morning,
Breath in the faintest whiff of promise,
Turn my ear to catch the slightest chime of possibility,
Absorb the view with all the hunger my heart can muster.

I remind myself that faith doesn’t rest on sight.
It is pure trust in an unseen, infinite Love
That cares for me with eternal perspective.
Faith is the building material that shores up my weakening hope,
My proof that the unseen has more solidity
Than any material thing I can touch with my feeble fingers…

Ah… mornings…
The daily rebirthing of my faith.

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* * * * *

Revival Prayer

It is good that you should shake me,
Wake me from my slumber and arouse
Me to your will that I’d forgotten.
I will beg of you to take me,
Make me new once more. Remove the shroud
That veiled my heart. Lord, let me not then
Turn away again, please,
When these things that life distracts me with
Start crowding out my time with you.
Burn away the dross, please,
My knees need to bend before you if
I truly long to follow you.
Can I hunger as I once did
When it meant so much to hear your voice,
When I longed to know you more?
In your secret place I once hid.
Bended knee brought sweetest peace by choice…
I’ll return again, my Lord.

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* * * * *

PLACE OF GRIEF

In grief and rage I view the world through
Prisms of silent sorrow sliding down my face.
All the joy I felt this morning seems a universe away
As old memories rise to the surface again
Just when I thought I got past all the “stuff.?
I find it hounding at my heart for release—
Too many years unacknowledged, now needing expression.
I should be grateful this emotion overwhelming me
Does not stand outside the door begging entrance
Every single hour of every single day.
So for now, I let it come,
Freeing this beast imprisoned in my chest,
Pounding to get out lest it suffocate my soul
Until I am heaving the burden off of me
In loud, agonizing anguish for this brief season.
It is right that I should grieve for this moment,
But I will not dwell in this valley of shadow
Any longer than I must.
Tomorrow I will live again in joy,
Returning the past to its proper place
So I can move forward making newer, happier memories!

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* * * * *

WHEN I NEED A FRIEND

Sometimes when I need a friend
I call you up and tell you why.
You’re such an awesome listener
And tell me it’s okay to cry.

So, I just thought I’d let you know
How very much you mean to me
This note is short, but full of love—
My thanks for letting me be me!

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* * * * *

MEDITATIONS OF A DIVORCEÉ

Did you stand
There all full of yourself
Wondering what happened
Or if you should
Turn around and hide?
Was it something
You were proud of
Or did you decide
This was all a mistake
That could not be undone and so
You bluffed your way
Through the heat of battle
Until you were convinced
After all
You had made the right choice…
Years of walking the same
Muddied path of stubbornness.

I still stand
Here watching you,
Catching all the flak
When you explode in
Frustration and
Misdirected rage—
The bloody edges of
Words thrown all directions,
Carrying the remnants
Of your shredded heart;
Knowing you never
Ever see the suffering
Your willfulness causes
All of us—your children and
Even your new wife.

I have gone on
Prayerfully, hopefully and
Next week I will be
“Ex? no longer
I will be wife again
Beloved and cherished—
Insulated from your
Ill-chosen rejection.
I am laying you again on
Holy Father’s altar
Trusting Him to
Keep on healing us all.

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* * * * *

FOR JANICE

It was Joy, with a capital “J? to call you friend.
We were not close, but we cared.
It was always nice to know that when you saw me
You would smile and greet me,
Asking how I was doing, and my children,
Offering to pray for me when I needed it.
I usually needed it, but then, you did too, and
So I did not mind being honest with my needs
Because you were always honest with yours.

Though I saw you infrequently these past few years,
My heart wrenched in unexpected depth of pain
When I heard about your graduation to glory.
I had meant for weeks to stop by and see you.
Your illness was always before me
In those prayer request messages I received,
Yet somehow this whirlwind of my life caught me up
And I did not go…
How I regret it, and how I know it cannot be changed.

I still remember your smile,
Seeing your eyes closed in meditation and prayer
As I played my flute to the Lord.
I remember, too, your quiet suffering
As you raised your heart to Him in praise anyway.
You and Ed amazed me
In your persevering faithfulness
Despite the hard road of pain.
It was a treasure to have known you
Even as mere acquaintance.

While those who were closer grieve more greatly
Still, I too weep.
Part of my weeping has become prayer for Ed,
Your lifetime companion still here,
Though you have gone on.
For you, I can rejoice that the suffering is over.
For him, I can ask grace, grace, and more grace…
Knowing He who gives gifts to men
Will indeed sustain him in this time of mourning,
But it is never easy to lose a friend, and
It was Joy to call you friend.

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* * * * *

PASSION FOR EXPRESSION

Can I TELL you how I feel?
Can I say what I really mean
Or mean what I really say?
Is it possible to put pen to paper and
Manufacture meaningful verse
Or will this all come out like drivel?
I know nothing except
That I must write what I feel,
Attempting in some way
That I do not understand
To verbalize what cannot be verbalized
Express what cannot be expressed
Put into letter shapes and language bytes
Something vaster than the structured formula
Of Modern Communication
Is even really capable of.
Still, I try…
And try and try…
I shall never give up this passion
For expression!

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* * * * *

MIXUP

How do I sort out my feelings
When I can’t tell which end is up?
Am I sad? Am I mad? Am I glad? Just a tad?
I don’t know and it boggles my mind.
My father is dying.
My brother is hurting.
I feel helpless to help either one,
But I want to so badly
Do something to change all this
Want to so dearly
Do something to mend all this
Mess that is so in my face.
I could cry for a hundred years
Weep many thousand tears
Never feel any relief.
I could numb all this feeling
Until I am reeling in space.
But I DON’T want to run from myself
I just want to know how to react.
I am tired of the questions I ask.
Make my brain stop its whirling
So that I can be still again,
Let my feelings just sort out themselves.

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* * * * *

THIS IS WAR!

It seems this war we fight is
Taking more casualties than we wish.
Every day I am reminded of it.
Fatherless families mourn;
Childless parents weep inconsolably
…And widowed spouses.
Each survivor fights to get through
The next day and the next and the next.
By God’s grace alone they are sustained.
Their testimonies bear witness of
The incredible strength one finds
When forced to lean on the everlasting arms.

There is no explanation that can make it right.
There is no filling in the spaces
That the lost loved ones were meant to fill.
There is only the One who keeps His own counsel.
But He is not merciless or unjust.
His comfort surrounds and abounds
When the sorrow and pain is overwhelming.
He allows us our grief and laments with us—
Sitting with us in our sackcloth and ashes,
Patiently silent until we remember His presence.

“The race is not to the swift, nor battle to the strong…
But time and chance happen to them all? and
“‘Not by might, nor by power, but
By my Spirit,’ says the Lord.?

Though the darkness surrounds us,
It is his light within that sustains us.
So we pray with all the fierceness of warriors!
The seeds fall into the ground and die and
We find that we reap a mighty harvest.
We grieve and grow through God’s grace—
Rejoicing in the goodness and the greatness of our God
Until our enemies unseen are shamed and
Our enemies seen are brought before His feet in worship.
We petition with passion for powerful
Intervention and healing for those still suffering here
That such demonstration will lift His name yet higher…

This is not mere circumstantial hardship, beloved.
THIS IS WAR.

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* * * * *

I STILL CHOOSE

I don’t; I cannot; I can’t; I won’t
Compose myself against the tide of angst washing over me.
I crumble like a wall of sand beneath an ocean of emotion
Left gasping, breathless, helpless under the onslaught of ceaseless tears.
Gut-wrenching sobs wrack my frame in waves so long, so much, so hard…
As the unending blows of circumstances have beaten me.
Stress pulls at me to give up, to step out of reality forever,
Yet some granite core of self refuses to quit.

There burns a tiny flame of hope in me.
I have always been too stubborn to let despair win for long
And this is no exception!
As grief subsides, influenced by Love’s unseen light,
I find sleep and renewed determination with the morning.
Silent prayers hover round my heart’s anguish
Soothing my battered soul once more.

…And though I have felt far, yet nearer He is;
Though I have felt weak, yet stronger He is;
Though broken in anger, yet His healing forgiveness reigns;
Though overwhelmed by sadness, yet joy wells up within;
Though numbness beckons, yet Jesus remains my sanctuary.
He is my God and my strong tower,
For I will not let how I feel rule over me.
The choice is mine to make and I still choose life!
And return to my Rock of Refuge.

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* * * * *

JUST TO BE NEAR HIM

There is a terrible, gaping sadness inside me—
A hole no man, no children, no thing can fill.
All the losses dig at my heart,
Reopening old, scabbed-over wounds.

Buried beneath the weight of grief
I have found an angry rage that declares,
I do not deserve this!
What is wrong with me that I must be
The one to lose and lose and lose?!
…While others seem to sail along on calm seas?

Then it is suddenly silent
With an eloquence no words can match.
A patient God awaits my listening ear
Before He speaks, “Where were you when I…?

I am dumb, muted before His omnipotence
Like Job—
And I have not lost as much as he.
I have not lost as much as He has—
Crucified innocence for my guilt.

Still…
I grieve in my foolish humanity
Only this time, at least, I find
Some comfort in that overpowering omniscience
That speaks of some bigger purpose
I cannot yet see.

He lets me weep… and wail…
Until once more I am spent
In shattered humility before His feet.
If I may stay here broken
(Quietly resting in storm’s aftermath),
Then I am content just to be near Him.

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* * * * *

O LORD, I FOLLOW…

Can I say this again? O Lord, I follow…
Though the path lie through darkness, through turmoil,
Through things never understood.
Easy? Rarely, almost never.
Worth it? Always, ever…
I, in my blind grasping after you
Somehow am found by you, every single time…
Miraculously, I always say—
But then, you are God, after all,
For which I am eternally grateful.
Body, soul, spirit, I yearn to know… YOU—
Merciful, loving, healing… holy…
Filling every niche of my crumpled-up self,
Every little corner of this tiny abode I call “me?…
And though my imperfections and disillusions
Haunt me every step of the way,
Still, I am persuaded beyond rock-hard certainty,
Of your perfect, unconditional love!
O Lord, I follow…

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* * * * *

Possibilities

Sometimes, if I just sit,
Still enough to hear the grass grow,
Staring open-eyed at all the green,
It seeps into my soul slowly
Until I am filled up with spring and
The beauty calms my spirit
Till the whisper of new life around me
Infuses me, too, with all its possibilities…

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* * * * *

…I WRITE…

There are so many moments
When I wonder why I write…
Anything at all, under the fluff
I can be real and I can cry my guts out.
So often, I get the “thank yous? and
“It’s so beautiful,? and yet still
I wonder why I write…
But then again, I’ve discovered
I can’t not write.
There’s some integral part of me
That insists I must express,
Get it out of me,
Think/feel it through;
No matter how random the words or
How well strung together,
It’s become a matter of catharsis—
Spilling my guts in print until
Either I understand what’s going on
Or I’ve at least got the confusion
Out in the open enough to quit
Banging my head against
The wall of logic that looms over me
Refusing to let my mind rest.
Putting it into linguistic expression
Helps me escape all the mental oppression
So I can feel…
Heart’s truth, God’s gift to me…
I write so I can feel and others can too,
Through what I’ve somehow
Managed to extract out of the underlying
Layers of STUFF that weighs me down.
Thank God, I can write…

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REMEMBER YOUR MOTHER

Remember your mother for all that she was.
Remember the child that you were.
For all that she had to give, all that she knew,
Was all that her mother gave her.

Mothers are priceless, regardless what type
The good, bad and all in-between
Without her you wouldn’t be here on this earth
Though dishwasher, techie or queen.

So remember your mother and say, if you can,
What she means to you somehow, some way.
Because time keeps on ticking and minutes slip by,
Till you realize you’ve missed Mother’s Day!

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Till Sorrow Has Its Way

This pain feels so familiar,
But it’s so hard to believe…
The emotions that I’m feeling now
Are an ocean, oh, so deep.
Just when I think I’m finished,
I begin to weep again.
The one I long for comfort from
Has gone to sleep again.
So I sit and write like old days
To relieve the stream of tears,
And in the end, I find this sadness
Like oil on waves of fears.

Let the river flow, my love,
Let the storm hold sway.
Let the rain fall from above
Till sorrow has its way.

I’m wakeful now and watchful,
Wondering when I’ll fall asleep.
The night seems long when something’s wrong.
The clock begins to creep.
I sit here wrapped in blankets
With my tissues by my side
To wait for calm, or maybe numbness,
Wiping all the tears I’ve cried.
Sometime in the morning,
I’ll awake and start the day,
But in between, the hours await
This ocean I still face…

Let the river flow, my love,
Let the storm hold sway.
Let the rain fall from above
Till sorrow has its way.

I wonder if it felt like this to Jesus in Gethsemane
He prayed and wept, and they all slept, and He felt oh, so lonely.

Let the river flow, my love,
Let the storm hold sway.
Let the rain fall from above
Till sorrow has its way.

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