Cara Colleen » Writings

The Puddle

Cara — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 19:22:55 +0000

There, I went and did it without even realizing it.
I forgot myself again.
I got so bogged down with all the stuff of life,
My thoughts swirled in meaningless, overlapping circles.
Words flying this way and that in some
Mixed jumble of complete and utter nonsense
Until I sat down, let loose the wildness inside,
And set my pen free without agenda.
No trying to make something happen…
No forcing myself into predetermined structure…
No frustrated, half-done slips of something…
Just me rambling around in a muddle,
Content to stir things into nothingness,
So I can finally, finally relax and let loose
With grinning drivel.
Somehow that helps more than all the exercises
I could ever put my mind through.
The mental picture is priceless, too.
Imagine me at five years old
Stamping in a puddle in the parking lot
Till all the water is splashed out and
The puddle is gone.
That’s me now, stamping around in my brain
Till all the cohesion scatters into little droplets and
The forced, frustrating bits of thought are gone!
Releasing it all relieves the burden.
I do not have to do anything but sit, stare,
Type idiocy and see where it takes me.

Coherence

Cara — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 20:18:30 +0000

Clarity sparkles like the sun glinting off the water.
Thoughts flow smoothly along
Following the light toward a definite goal,
(It all makes so much sense!)
Till vision takes shape, and words
Start falling into place one by one or
Sometimes phrases at a time…

My story unfolds itself into a comfortable couch.
Here I lie, feet up and reclined, listening
To the relaxed rumble of coherence turning
Chaos into logic, making sense out of nonsense.
Peace by pieces is settling inside me
Filling my soul with reminders of His goodness.

There Are Stars!

Cara — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:39:45 +0000

There are stars! There are stars!
So, I stare with the eyes of a child-
Forever awed by the sparkling lights
In the wide open blackness above me.
The oh-so-familiar shapes whisper wonder
Into my soul as I track them across the sky.
Some I can name and some I cannot, but
I don’t care… I just like looking.
The early morning moon beckons me to
Stop, to watch, to wait for sunrise
Until earth’s own star beams brightly
In the endless deep blue overhead.
Something inside me still searches, though,
For pale moon and fading starlight.
I cannot wait for the marvel of
A clear night sky to return, because…
There are stars! There are stars!

For Jeff

Cara — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 13:25:41 +0000

He was my friend.
Somehow, I always expected to see him again.
Walking through the halls, talking on the phone,
Coming to see me and make me a little less alone
At this big giant desk in a big empty room.
He’d say, “Hello, sunshine!” just to make me smile,
Or sometimes he just came and stood and stared in silence
And we could ‘not talk’ just as well as talk.
Gravelly voice, beard, glasses, and a head full of stuff-
Computer trivia, interesting stories, and
He sure did have a sense of humor about him!
But he was ready to get down to business, when
I mentioned my schoolwork or problems popped up.
His phone would ring… it seemed it always rang.
Someone always needed him right then “yesterday,”
And off he would go around the floor or onto the elevator.
I’ll never put mints out on my counter again without
Thinking of Jeff-he was my primary customer.
He loved his family and his pets in simple ways.
He was always ready with pictures of Darby or Hannah.
He honored his religion with his heart, and
He was his own person at the same time-
Very definitely himself and nobody else
From Waffle House coffee to motorcycles and dogs.
He was an integral part of Finance and
He was my friend.

Listen

Cara — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 18:38:26 +0000

Listen to the wind.
Listen to it sing,
Roaring through the trees,
Or just a gentle breeze.
Its voice is strong and sure
With melodies so pure
The angels sing along
With harmonies in song.

Listen to the stream.
Listen to it dream,
Rushing through the rocks
So sweetly as it talks,
Telling all it knows
While the water flows,
Pouring out its story
For Creator’s glory.

Listen to the flame.
Hear its loud refrain,
Crackling with glee,
Singing wild and free.
The burning purifies
As wood hums through its cries
Freed in suffering,
Creator’s praises ring.

untitled

Cara — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 17:47:04 +0000

Words are not enough;
Songs can barely touch;
The essence of Your presence in this place.
We can only kneel
Knowing You are real,
Reaching down to touch us by Your grace.

By your blood You came
To cover all our shame,
Calling us to turn our hearts to You.
Resurrection life
Conquers death and strife,
Giving us a chance to start anew.

Father make us one
Through Your holy Son.
Fill us with Your Spirit and Your love.
Set our hearts aflame
With praises to Your name
Blazing bright with with passion from above.

Cara — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 21:17:37 +0000

Holy, Holy, Holy is the LORD God Almighty

Farewell Is Never Easy

Cara — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 18:21:02 +0000

Farewell is never easy when the way has been so long,
But paths diverge and friends must part as time moves ever on.
We pause for just a moment to remember what has passed-
Hard work, good times, sweet sorrows, too, are memories that will last.
But time is inescapable, so forward we must go.
The next step isn’t easy, but tomorrow we will know
There’s joy in every journey even when the way seems dark.
Each time we meet along the path brings lightness to our heart.
Farewell is never easy and it makes my heart feel sad.
Good journey, friend, and may you find more friends to make you glad.

The Storm

Cara — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 13:56:26 +0000

Creator God of chaotic splendor speaks
And angels rush to do his bidding.
They sweep the clouds into glorious formations
While the rain beats a steady rhythm.

Lightning spikes across the horizon.
The distant thunder builds a solid foundation
Creeping softly in through the storm
Till it rages and roars with passionate voice…
Shouting the majestic presence of Lord Sabaoth!

And the rain keeps falling obediently over thirsty land…
A land blind and deaf to the symphony,
Just longing for some peace to cover it…
Missing the display of God’s majesty in the sky above.

Lord of Hosts,
Shake us awake
Make us aware
Of Your glory in the surrounding storm.
Show us Your light
Speak with Your might
To our desperate hearts.
Shatter the deafness and blindness
That we can rejoice with passion
In Your chaotic splendor.

Focus

Cara — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 18:36:12 +0000

Focus on You?
Clutter obfuscates every effort-
From fragments of failures
To clashing communication lines
Clouding my concentration.

You…
Seem so obvious and easy,
Then circumstances trip me.
Sin entangles me.
Emotions choke the life out of me,
But…

You…
Are LIFE-
Living Water,
Bread of Life,
Holy Hope eradicating despair,
Sustenance feeding my Faith.

You…
King of Kings and Lord of Lords,
God of all creation,
Including my… self.

You…
You help me
Focus on You!

Never More Than He

Cara — Mon, 18 May 2009 15:56:13 +0000

I wonder sometimes if I will find calm again,
Some stillness in the middle of turmoil.
I am used to being tossed and buffeted about.
I find peace on the inside when all outside
Says there should be none,
Then the unexpected pierces my heart again
In the old places of pain and
I am shredded where I can least bear it.
Still, some part of me cannot be shaken.
When I grieve most deeply,
I think of Job, who lost everything,
Yet still declared with faith,
“I know that my redeemer lives…” and
I, too, know that my redeemer lives.
With Peter, I ask the Lord, “To whom shall I go?
You have the words of eternal life.”
So, in my deepest pain I choose to trust Him.
His purposes matter. His will prevails.
His Comforter enfolds me in His arms,
Letting me weep and rage with hurt until
I am filled again with His love, His peace…
His mercy that will never give me
More than He can help me to bear.

Expression

Cara — Thu, 07 May 2009 15:31:22 +0000

What more can be said that hasn’t been said?
Language limits my emotional articulation
Till I am spilling over with the unspoken,
Exploding with the unexpressed!
So I sit in pregnant silence waiting.
Only Holy Spirit can write, can flow,
Can say what is needed to fill the vacuum.
I wait and He comes in like a gentle breeze
Blowing through the cobwebs of anxious striving,
Helping me trust enough to stay still.
It’s not what needs to be said that matters,
It is letting all the feelings freely flow.
Even unintelligible noises and tears and laughter,
Or the fluency of imagination’s visual flight,
Bring deep inner peace to my soul again.
I focus on Him instead of my passion, and
He sets me free to be me…
Contemplative in every expression of emotion.

Giving Up

Cara — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 19:37:47 +0000

I keep giving up on myself.
It’s frustrating to try and fail and
Try and fail… over and over.
There are days I’m convinced
It’s not even worth trying, so
I fail before I begin.
I fall over my own obstacles,
Tripping on the same traps that
Haunt my feet every day.
I think, “Will the effort ever end?
Will my stubborn self ever bend?”
I keep giving up on myself, and
Hoping that somehow,
Even though I give up, He won’t.

Psalm of Grace

Cara — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 20:39:32 +0000

My hands won’t stop shaking;
My insides are worse;
And dread leaves me quaking,
Completely submersed.
Still, You speak whispers
Of comfort and peace.
You don’t give me answers,
But always increase
Your presence around me
Till I come to know
Perfect love dwells within me,
And then the fears go.

Forever You’ve held me
Secure in Your hands.
You never have judged me;
For You understand
My frailty and weaknesses,
Heartaches and tears.
Through all my distresses,
I know You are near,
And I am still learning,
When I want to run,
That You are worth trusting
You can’t be outdone.

Choices blog

Cara — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 18:20:55 +0000

Check out the new page I posted under my prose section.

http://caracolleen.com/archives/choices/