All the furor surrounding me dies down after…
Crisis over. Problem solved.
Life resumes its “normalcy�
While I sit back and try to breathe,
But air seems, well,
Hard to find these days.

My mind whirls at hectic pace.
Now that outward calm is restored,
Internal control slips askew.
All the things I didn’t let myself
Think or feel or do under pressure
Explode out like heated popcorn
When the cover comes off.

I was fine then—in storm’s eye.
Now the devastation wreaked in my heart
Trips me, tumbles me, confuses me.
I look around and recognize
Nothing of myself in this
Except maybe some of the
Broken debris strewn here and there.
debris

During the storm, I was fine.
I knew what to do, how and why,
Keeping all of my “self�
Tucked away in a hidden place.
After the storm,
Recovery sent me into shadows—
Swirling grays and blues and purples
Until my emotions were
Spinning beyond comprehension.

Finally I sit,
Still as a stone,
Clamping down on everything,
So I can have a moment of numb peace.
The aftermath of everything
Played more havoc with my soul
Than all the crises put together.

Right now I just want
Stillness of soul, silence of mind…
Then perhaps I can begin to
Sort it all out,
One bleep at a time.

« »