Meditating

Meditating on you, Lord, takes effort, I have found.
You are so… present in every moment,
Yet so far away from my thoughts.
How can I, small-minded as I am,
Keep refocusing on the greatness of you—
Your love, your grace, your mercy, your kindness?
I just want to be aware and sensitive,
So that when you move, I follow;
When you speak, I speak;
When you are silent, I wait on you.
There are no words sufficient to express
The magnificence of your intent towards us.
You beckon us to be part of your purposes in the earth,
While I just wonder if I can get through the day.
O Lord, forgive my self-focused attitude.
Help me to be more outward in my posture…
Loving you… loving my neighbor…
Remind me that it’s not “all about me,”
But truly all about you and your love for your children.
You reach for me, and I shy away in fear of retribution,
But I want to reach back in response,
Realizing you created me as I am—
To need your impetus to move forward.
You give me the faith to trust, and
All I can do is to fall into your hands again.
When my own efforts fail to remember you,
You still come to mind.
In the mundanity of my daily strivings,
You remind me that you still love me,
Even though I can never quite figure out why or how.
I am grateful…
And I still love you,
Because you loved me first.

Light in My Darkness

In all the low places,
In all the high places,
In every space I feel alone,
Still you are there with me.
When I wonder where you are,
Your presence holds me close—
Despite my fear, despite my doubt,
Despite the numbness pervading me.
I made a choice long ago to trust regardless, and
You… steadfastly faithful… stand true!!!
What I know to be truth
Is the solid rock of WHO. YOU. ARE.
So, I stand firm in the stormy seas
Of my ennui and lethargy,
Though I feel swamped over,
Mired down, buried under…
I know you fight for me, Jesus.
I trust that there’s light at the end of this tunnel,
Because you are the light in my darkness now.

Murmur

There’s a murmur in my heart
Like the roar of the ocean
Underscoring every breath, every heartbeat—
The vibration of your reckless love
Rushing into every empty space,
Filling me up again till overflow comes.
O Lord, let my gratitude and praise
Come out in my words and actions.
Let my voice vibrate your love
To those who surround my life.

On the Way

Holy Spirit, sometimes I despair that
I will ever find a deep, lasting change;
Then your hope rises up in me again,
Reminding me that this journey is just that—
A path from here to there.
I am not here or there…
I am on the way.
Change will come, because that is the nature of living!
Static states are only temporary.
They may feel permanent, but they are NOT!!
You are a God of transformation and power…
Stronger than my circumstances,
More powerful than my old nature.
I choose life once more.
I choose newness over and over—
Over all the stagnancy that surrounds me.
The surface seems still and unmoving,
But in the depths your vibrations trouble the waters
Until your mighty waves wash through me—
Shaking me up repeatedly,
Loosening all the crustiness of illness and depression,
Flooding me with joy!
Come, Lord Jesus, with your blood.
Wash me clean again.
Father of Lights, banish the darkness in me.
I only want to reflect your life to those around me.

At the End of Every Path

Countless times I am drawn again
To the matchless wonder of who you are,
Reminded over and over again that you are God—
The Father who spoke life into the void,
The Son who spoke life to a buried body,
The Spirit who speaks life daily to each heart.
No matter how my mind wanders,
I find you at the end of every path—
The rose in full bloom when I thought
There would only be a budding flower…
Because fullness of life is all that you contain,
From two cells joining to a fully grown human adult.
There is abundance in you,
Even in paucity of resources,
Because it’s all yours from beginning to end—
First, last, and everything in between.
O Lord God, be the all-encompassing presence
We need you to be in our lives;
But more than that, Jesus,
Help us to know your presence in every moment.

Every Morning New

Every morning new, O God…
Your compassions never, ever fail.
Your greatness encompasses the universe
In abundance we could never fathom,
Yet you see us in our finite existence.
You know that we are like grass, and
You pour out your lovingkindness on us.
You whisper the sweetness of your love,
Covering our sins and failures
By the power of your brokenness and blood sacrifice—
Offering us your resurrection power,
Giving us the gift of eternal life in your presence.
O Lord, there is no praise big enough
To be enough for you,
Yet you remind us again and again…
Your compassions never, ever fail.
They are new every morning!

Spring Comes Softly

Spring comes softly like a sleeper slowly waking.
The trees and flowers start shyly showing splendor
In hopes the cold has really left for the year.
Even knowing it will visit again, nature’s celebrating
The turning of the seasons with typical grandeur.
No holding back just in case… She’s on a tear,
Eager to display every bit of beauty she can fling forth
In layers of glory that gradually spread across the earth.

Prayer for Mercy

I find I cannot reach for words the way I used to.
I put things down only to discover it falls short.
What I want to say, I am unable to say,
So I keep on babbling in some vain effort to express
All the mixed up cauldron of mess in my heart.
Still, I can’t not write, so I press on
Hoping that sooner or later I will find truth.
Holy God, be the inspiration I long for.
You are the only reality I need.
Teach me your ways, like Moses,
So I can pen some kind of light to those around me.
Take me out of the deep water of confusion
I have lately found myself in,
In some way I fail to understand.
Show me your glory again.
Refine my mental processes somehow,
So I can once more express my heart for you.
Help me, Holy Father, to lean into you–
To find help, hope, and healing in your heart.
Above all, Lord Jesus, bring me into your mercy,
So that as I fall and fail, I learn still.
I need you, Lord, so desperately that
I have lost all words to speak the depths of my need…
Yet, still, I yearn, I long, I reach, for some kind of wisdom.
In my lack, I beg of you, God, give me grace,
Because I can only find peace in you.

Hail, Winter, Well Met!

The cold, crisp morning grips me with brightness
As I walk out the door to head out.
I breathe in the chill air and breathe out clarity.
Winter grabs me again, swings me around,
Makes me sit up and notice life a little better.
Truthfully, I don’t really like the cold,
But I appreciate the role it plays in waking me up.
Celebrate the seasons as they come, I say!
Hail, Winter, well met!
Remind me every morning of the glory to come—
Of the beauty that is here and now
In bare trees and bushes dormant and resting
As they await the burst of new life to come in spring.
Remind me, as well, of the need to rest while I can,
As I await the next season of whatever God has in store.
I want to be awake, prepared, actively anticipating
The goodness and glory of God in my life.
In the meantime, winter is here
To be enjoyed not denigrated, so…
Hurray for Winter!!!

Beyond the Shadowed Doubts

In lonely days, in darkest nights,
You have your hand in mine.
Through deepest waters, hottest blights,
Your love pours out like wine.

No desperation, come what may,
Can keep your life from me.
Because my trust will not be swayed,
I know who meets my need.

Despite the lies that fill my ears,
I trust in all your truth.
Regardless of the spoken fears,
I’ve seen your mighty proofs.

I know beyond the shadowed doubts
That you are life and peace,
Because I’ve been sustained through drought
When I get on my knees.

Lord God of Hosts, in all my years
I’ve been kept by your side.
Sweet Lord of Light, dark disappears
When you are glorified.

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