Sleepless yet again I find I’m
Reaching once again to find I’m
Here before your throne, O Lord
And hungering again for more.
Your words, they speak of life to me
When I have fallen to my knees.
I can no longer run from you
Because you wrestle me anew.
You call me back to life again
Though I have not yet found my end.
Please, Father, fill my heart once more
With living water… let it pour.
I want to live, not just survive.
O God, I need your life to thrive.
Show me how to seek your face
And cover me once more with grace.
Sleepless yet again I find I’m
There is still you here with me.
There is still me with you.
Till I come again to the end of self
Knowing that I know somehow,
Speaking that which you speak through me.
Father, let me know you as father once more.
Jesus, help me to cling to you again.
Spirit, rise up in me with new life
Till yet I know that I know… you…
Somehow, some way I cannot grasp.
Transform me, Lord, by your mercy
Into what I should be for your glory.
Forgive my iniquity; heal my disease.
Ease, holy Father, this endless anxiety
That grips me… oh, God,
Save me from myself in Jesus’ name.
Let your light shine forth from me again.
Holy are you, Lord.
I come to your table again by your grace,
By your mercy, because of
Your unfathomable goodness and lovingkindness.
I know I am not worthy, but
Your blood covers me again and again.
Let me know your presence, Jesus.
Let me come to the Father through you.
Envelop me, Holy Spirit, with your love.
In your presence, God, is fullness of joy.
Help me to be… me with you.
I am in You, and You are in me.
We sit on the floor by the fireplace,
Basking in warmth,
Comfortable with just being together.
There is silence beneath the music,
And it is good.
You look into my eyes with loving acceptance.
How is this possible, Lord,
That you still love me despite my shortcomings?
Draw me to you again, please, Lord.
Increase my desire for your presence.
Show me contentment in you.
You, you, you are all I need.
Fill my lungs with your breath;
Fill my heart with your awareness.
Let your blood flow through my veins, Jesus,
Till I exude you to everyone around me.
Heaven help me, I just need You.
Somehow this life has gotten so overwhelming
That I can barely keep my head up,
So, I’m reaching out again in my distress
Because I don’t know what else I can do.
It feels like I can’t even pray these days.
I read the scripture in hopes that I can hear You
Even though the words feel like they droop on the page.
I feel like a desert in the summer heat
Without a drop of rain for miles and miles—
Truly a wilderness experience right now.
Still, somehow I am choosing to believe,
As parched as I feel, that You haven’t left me.
This dry patch of lethargy and ennui needs to dissipate.
I know You are faithful in my wanderings.
I’m asking, O Lord, that you bring me back to You again.
Let me hear Your voice, please, Jesus.
Show me, once more, the value of the secret place.
I’ve forgotten how to rest in You,
But You… are still You,
Glorious, high, and exalted above everything,
Especially me and my foolishness.
I choose You again, Lord, over all I feel,
Because You. Are. My. God.
What can you do when all you can do
Is wait and hope and pray?
You wait and hope and pray with all your might,
But sometimes it’s not enough.
Sometimes you hope in vain.
I keep remembering again
This life is just a blink of an eye,
A foreshadowing of eternity
With all the uncounted time stretched out
Just on the other side of death’s door.
So then I wait and hope and pray for Jesus
To step into the equation and somehow transform
Death into eternal life.
Oh Lord, may my loved one walk the path of life.
Have mercy, Father.
As my thoughts meander through the corridors of change,
All I need to know is that you hold me in your hands.
Still I wonder every day how things could be so strange.
With everything I see and feel, I’m looking for your plans,
But I can’t tell from all that comes how things will still work out.
I’ve come to just believe beyond what I can see and feel.
I’m trusting in your goodness, God, and quashing all my doubt
Because of my experiences; I know you are real.
What comes will come and no amount of worry can affect
The outcome of my situation whether good or ill.
Your word says thankful prayer petitions gain your good respect,
So I will lay my heart before you, trusting in you still.
You’ve taught me through the good and bad to lean on holy faith,
So, somehow in this season, I intend to do the same.
Though I can’t know what’s coming, I still know that I can wait
As I’m planting my feet firmly on the Rock that is your name.
Stepping stones sit firm beneath my feet—
Your words of grace and wisdom in my ear.
The bread of life protects me from defeat—
The priceless, living word I long to hear.
I can’t get enough sustaining peace…
Without the scriptures, I cannot be whole.
Keep me hungry; help me to increase,
So I may find completeness in my soul.
You say man can’t live on bread alone.
Lord God, fill me up with all your words
Until I overflow before your throne
With mercy, grace, and truth like all the birds
Who sing your praises loudly all day long.
I will proclaim your faithful word is strong.
You beckon me, again, to come
Into your presence, Lord.
You call me out of my heart’s slump.
You’re speaking to my core.
I hear your whispering voice
Beneath the cacophonic noise.
But I’ve forgotten how to move.
I feel so frozen still.
I sense you call me to improve;
Please mold me to your will.
I’m nothing without you
To come and change me through and through.
I’m very tired of feeling numb.
Life seems so tasteless now.
I really want to overcome,
But I just don’t know how.
Somehow that I can’t see
Please, Lord, set my spirit free.
Determination creeps up on me and pounces
Like a lion snatching its prey from the jaws of indifference.
Till now I have simply existed—
Wandering from day to day with some bewilderment,
Wondering if my days held any real substance.
It’s a terrible state to be in.
That tepid, tasteless miasma blankets everything
Until I can’t tell what the point is:
Wake, eat, work, eat, function minimally, sleep, begin again.
Somehow, though, I sense I am coming out into sunlight.
My mind feels sharper.
My eyes seem clearer.
My ears are more finely tuned to hear Your voice.
Speak, Lord. Your servant is listening.
I find myself thinking of you a lot, and I do mean A LOT.
You are on my mind a goodly portion of Every. Single. Day.
How you look, things you say,
The affectionate way you… surround me…
Like the shoulder rubs in the mornings,
Or the frequent, extended hugs in the evenings.
It’s so very odd in one sense.
It doesn’t have the same euphoric feel of being “in love,”
Yet I could easily call it that and be accurate.
All these years since we met and I’m still happy with you.
Sure there are the goofy little things,
But I love being your audience when you play guitar.
I love the heart of gold that motivates you to preach the gospel.
I love the way you play with your beard,
Stare into my eyes and smile at me.
I just plain and simply love you.
I couldn’t imagine life without you, Love.