Hits me like another wave in a turbulent sea.
I forget that I belong to Him sometimes, but
This annual reevaluation comes around
Reminding me, reproving me, recalling me—
A strong silent undercurrent of renewal—
Till I stop my busy haste to achieve and
Relearn how to “be� …again,
How to hear …again,
How to be still and know …again.
Father is so patient with me.
I can but stand in awe and paint word-pictures
Over and over in a pitiful attempt
To convey some piece of what I perceive of
His greatness and glory and my yearning to get closer.
I am like a moth drawn to a candle flame,
Knowing a hunger for the holiness that can
Consume my being until I am nothing
Apart from Him.
Another part of me shrinks away,
Wishing I could just get on with my life.
So much takes up my time and energy
Until I am sucked dry.
I feel spun out into so many directions
That my mind ends up at a standstill
Unable to process simple actions.
Sometimes I catch myself staring into nothing
Instead of brushing my hair or
Finishing the sentence I’ve just begun.
It is this emotional, mental and physical exhaustion
That brings me to my knees.
Oh, Lord! Fill me up again
With Your desire, Your Spirit, Your presence.
Turn my face once more toward
My source of Life, Strength and
Divine, unconditional Love…
Towards YOU.