I lie wakeful,
Tossing and turning,
Wondering when or if I will sleep again,
Till finally I get up and wander out here…
I have been soaking my mind with You
All night long,
Listening to the same song,
Hoping to arm myself
Against the recesses of darkness
That lurk in my heart.
I cannot even tell if it is working—
Other than this restiveness that pulls me
Out of bed in the small hours of morning.
So I come here
Wondering when or if I will sleep again,
Thinking of You,
Hoping to find some sort of mental rest
From all the dodging about.
My brain feels like a trapped bird,
Flitting from this place to that place,
Looking for somewhere that makes sense
Where there is no sense,
Looking for respite from the turmoil.
Ah, Lord God,
Let me find my shelter in You again,
Like I used to be able to.
…And with that bit of a prayer,
I suddenly find stillness…
In You.
wow.