ALWAYS ANOTHER
Always another river to cross
Always another mountain to climb
Always another valley of dying to self
Always another place of belief
Always another surrender to God
Always another flight on the wings of His love
Always another bridge I must burn
Always another wrong to forgive
Always another revealing the cracks in my heart
Always another grace to receive
Always another mercy renewed
Always another receiving forgiveness from Him
Eternally chosen
Eternally held
Eternally bought by His blood
Eternally cherished
Eternally loved
Eternally, always I’m His.
* * * * *
RESCUE ME
Rescue me from the follies I still walk in.
Open me to the freshness of Your life.
Carry me when I have no strength to follow.
Strengthen me, give me hope to carry on.
Free my soul from the fetters that I cling to.
Make me whole from the pieces of my heart.
Take control, help me loosen all my fingers.
Help me hold with a childlike trust to You.
When I’m weak, let me trust you with my weakness.
Grace I seek as I’m driven to my knees.
Life is bleak when I try to live without You.
When You speak, let me hear you with my heart.
* * * * *
HE KNOWS THEM ALL BY NAME
The stars beckon me tonight
Like the musical voices of children
Answering to roll call.
For the first time (it seems),
I feel the freedom to really stretch—
Reaching with my fingers,
Letting my heart take flight.
I gaze down at my inner man,
The child in hiding for so long
Is now being called to come out…
Be free… dream… yearn…
Feel the affectionate touch of your voice
Making me a part of the night’s beauty.
Lovingly you call my name,
Just like the stars,
As I finally begin to know
The dazzling starlight of the jewel
That is the treasure of my life;
To learn to my core that to express,
To rejoice, to revel in you
With the gifts you gave me
Is not something to be ashamed of;
And the more I come out of hiding,
The greater the reflection of you
That sparkles from the gem inside my heart.
* * * * *
POIEMA
His is the music that springs in my heart
That flows from His Spirit within
His is the life that now flows in my veins
As His blood cleanses me from my sin
The joy that I have cannot be understood
As I worship with all of my soul
His peace dwells inside though the pain be a flood
When I let His Spirit control
His the anointing that springs in my life
Living water that flows from His word
His is the victory amidst all my strife
As I yield and let Him wield His sword
His I am, His I was, and His I shall be
His the gifts as His Spirit indwells
Him I serve, Him I love, and Him all I seek
Not my own, I’m His story to tell.
His poiema… For His glory alone.
* * * * *
BETROTHED
Your holiness,
Your love
Your compassion
Your mercy
Everything You are
Draws me after You
Weaken my feeble flesh with longing
For a union I cannot yet have
For an eternity I must wait for
I am the Betrothed weeping after her Beloved
At the same time
You open Your heart to me
For brief moments
I see with Your eyes
I hear with Your heart
Weep Your tears of longing
For a union that cannot yet be
For an eternity yet to come
Momentarily You allow me to pour out
The tears of the Bridegroom longing after His Beloved
All around me You move
Though there are walls, weaknesses,
Woundedness, willfullness
Of hurting humanity
Your Spirit
Your Living Word
Your Shed Blood
(Bridegroom’s blood spilled for His Bride)
Give anointing which breaks down walls,
Turn weaknesses into Your strengths
Heals wounded hearts
Woos willful men with Your longing
Awakening our longing after You.
New Covenant—Old Covenant renewed
The Promise
Ages past, never forgotten
Of a wedding feast to come
When no longer shall the Bride
Be separated from her Bridegroom.
* * * * *
never too late
is it truly never too late?
sometimes I wonder…
looking at all the mistakes I’ve made
all the messes I’ve created
it looks completely hopeless
I think, “I can change tomorrow,
not yesterday…�
then yesterday overshadows tomorrow
and today gets jammed into nowhere
and nothingness
until it looks the same tomorrow
as yesterday does today
maybe someday I will learn how
to pick up the pieces…
instead of putting them back together,
I shall create something new
with all the little splinters and fragments
of course, doing so will cut my fingers,
but the incidental pain
should be well worth the end result
from which the light can glitter and sparkle…
* * * * *
Shepherd Of My Soul
Shepherd of my soul,
Relieve me of the thorns and thistles
I have gathered in my wanderings
Rescue me from the crevice I fell into
In my haste to flee my enemies
Shepherd of my soul,
I look to you to take me up
In arms of mercy
To gently treat the blisters
I have gotten on my feet from rocky ground
Lord, I need your touch to heal
The wounds and scrapes that festered
As I willfully strayed away
From hands that often hurt me as they heal
Yet never cruelly or wantonly
Shepherd of my soul,
I need your guiding hand with lighted touch
That shows where next our feet
Will walk together
Warding off the darkness of the night
And preying eyes that know the blow
Of your protecting rod
Maker of my night that makes me
Call to you, though weak with fear,
Maker of the light that draws me close again…
Be the Shepherd of my soul.
* * * * *
You Can’t Fight With A Wall
You can’t fight with a wall
It just stands there
Blocking your way
Immobile, silent, deaf
You can push against it
You can scream at it
You can kick it
Or beat it with you fists
It doesn’t fight back
It doesn’t argue back
It doesn’t even push back
All it does is stand there
The harder you fight it
The more you get hurt
The louder you scream
The more you realize
The futility of yelling at
Something that can’t hear you
You can’t fight with a wall
You can sometimes find a door
To go through it
Or a ladder to climb over it
Or a tunnel to go under it
But it is a waste of time and energy
To stand there
And fight with a wall.
* * * * *
A Psalm Of Praise
Praise to the King of Kings
The Lord of Lords
The Most High God
Who lives, who reigns forever
Praise to the Prince of Peace
Portion of Jacob
Lamb of God
Who died, who rose in power
Praise to the One Who Is
Eternal Spirit
Clothing us with
Power from on high
That we may be his instruments
His hands, his feet, his voice
That by our lives the nations see
His mercy, His glory, His holiness and love
We lift His name on high
We sing His praises
We dance before His throne
A people calléd by His name
A people created for His glory
A royal priesthood
A holy nation…
* * * * *
Reaching
Reaching out for your hand
Has never been easy
There are moments I find myself
Falling on my face
In my attempts to stretch out my hand
There are moments when I know
I can never, ever reach you
Yet, still, I reach out
Knowing you can reach me in my weakness
Most of the time I sit
Arms around my knees contemplating you
Musing on your love, your grace, your
holiness, your mercy
Finding that although I do not
Try to touch you with my senses
My heart expands with the supernatural
Strength of your spirit
And my reaching out becomes opening up,
Reaching in…
Falling in love with You again.
* * * * *
Child
He is the key that opens every door—
The hand that leads you on.
His sweet voice whispers to your heart—
His faith what makes you strong.
In all the breakings count the cost,
For every sacrifice
Reveals the greatness of His love
That shapes your precious life.
For everything that you’ve laid down
A greater gift He gives;
And through your dying He will show
That Christ within you lives.
The One who has begun His work
Is faithful to each child—
To form in us the very Christ
By which we’re reconciled.
* * * * *
DYING DREAMS
When I try to remember my dreams they die.
Each waking moment brings me to this unpleasant reality.
While I who put my hope and faith in the Lord
Founder on through pain and uncertainty with my feet on solid rock,
The light before me burns bright with the passing of days
More real to me than this darkness around me
It is easy to spout spiritualities to the world around
Yet these circumstances continue to close in
There is no escape from this world in which I dwell
Consequences, chains of events, still come crashing in
An inexorable tide of brutal, crushing blows with no way out
Even were I to flee sanity as an escape
It would cost me all I hold dear, all I care for.
Still underneath this current of flowing events—
The unpaid bills, the loneliness, the grief of my motherhood—
I stand with unshakable faith on His promises
The small things around me are testament to His faithfulness.
An obligation here is met, a friendship there renewed or begun,
Someone’s firm sense of loyalty and assurance that “I can�
These make me shake my head in awe and gratitude
While I yet weep in fear, still knowing surely I can trust.
Moment by moment, I must remind myself of God’s goodness…
“Why art thou cast down O my soul, and why art thou disquieted within me?
Hope in God. For I shall yet praise Him
Who is the help, the health of my countenance.�
* * * * *
MOONGRACE
Silver winter moon, shining over the starkness
Of bare trees and frozen ground,
You remind me of grace—
Turning dead landscape into sparkling life
Frost shimmering over the flowing fields
Turns lifeless brown grass into a broad ocean of beauty
Punctuated by islands of shrubbery
And tall, mute statues of trees with their odd bareness—
Pictures of death by day,
Reminders of life yet to come underneath your glare.
I stand mesmerized by your light
In the surrounding darkness of sleep
More awake now than during the scant heat of winter sun.
It seems to me that day was merely a dream—
An illusion of warmth.
You are what you seem—simple illumination
No vague promises, just glorious shining,
Blanketing us all with your brilliance
As grace covers me with the light of God’s glory.
Though I stand here in my own darkness
The blood shed on the cross covers me with His life now,
Promising new life yet to come—
Grace undeserved, like your silver moonshine
Impartial in covering me and all the darkness around me.
* * * * *
Far Off
Far off there lies a country
Where the peace of heaven dwells
And from beneath a crystal throne
A living river swells
On either side the tree of life
With healing for the nations
With no more curse, and on the throne
The Lamb who brought salvation
* * * * *
BE MY UNIVERSE, O LORD
I long to have the will to reach for you again
I see you in your glory
Shrinking from your holiness
Wondering if I ever shall again be able
To seek you…
Wholeheartedly, with all my mind, my strength
My soul longs for the relief
I find in the light of your presence
While I feel surrounded by the darkness
O Lord, not, where are you,
But where am I?
In the depths, in the heights,
In the desert…
In the ocean of your Spirit
Surrounding me while I do not know it
O Lord, draw me so that I, again
May know the comfort of your presence
Shine your light in my darkness
Open my eyes to see you
Open my ears to hear you
Open my heart to know you
Heal my backslidings,
Turn my faithless, wandering heart to you
So that all my being, all my senses know only you, again.
* * * * *
HERE I LIE
Here I lie, quietly thinking to myself
Of all the things I am and have and do
Wondering about all the differences,
All the newnesses I have faced and overcome
Until they are old and fading away
Here I lie, quietly dreaming to myself
Of all the things I want to be and have and do
Leaning on the calling I can ever hear
The wisps of hope which carry me
Until time snatches them away again
Here I lie, quietly dying to myself
To all the things I want to be and have and do
Learning every day to let things go,
Loose my white-knuckled grip of self and destiny
Until I lie, pliant before the One who called me
Here I lie, quietly listening to His voice
Of all the things He wants for me to be and do
Because He sweetly whispers hope and love,
His faith which ever carries me
Until I rise on His wings, on His wind
Flying with a freedom never felt until
He filled me with Himself and my self faded into Him.
* * * * *
TO KNOW YOU
More than just the intercessor’s, “Ho,�
Or the worship leader’s, “Wow,�
I want to know you
To find you in the healing of my soul
The full reality of now
I want to know you
A breaking of the bread that make you real
A living wine with healing flow
I need your touch
To reach beyond the atmosphere of ‘feel’
To the certainty of ‘know’
I need your touch
Lord, reach inside my heart and past my mind
Let me know beyond my senses till I find
Fulfillment, peace and life in only you…
I need your touch, because I want to know you.
* * * * *
With Healing
With healing in His wings He covers me
Beneath His shadow I have learned to dwell
And when the tough things put me on my knees
Still in my soul He whispers, “It is well.�
* * * * *
IMPERFECT WORDS
The soul of a poet reaches… reaches… reaches…
For the precision of words to say
When sometimes there are simply no words to express
The closing of the day, the dawning of moonlit night,
The brilliance of setting sun against a background of
Rainbow-colored sky hovering over
The sparkling, shadowed reflection of water…
And still there is no description
For the transformation from day to night
Its effect reaches deep into the heart
Evoking wordless emotions, nostalgia,
Yearning beyond expression…
The wordsmith settles for second best
Often because there is no language for the best
We see. We feel. We long to communicate in words
What only the spirit can understand.
Yet the soul of the hearer listening beyond the surface
Will occasionally be able to grasp the intended meaning
So one soul touches another
Over time… over distance… through imperfect words.
* * * * *
Clarity
I love the crystal clarity of night–
Cascading light of stars and moon caress my soul
With reassurance of my Father’s love
For in His secret shadow I delight
His healing whispers wrap around me in His fold
As light of heaven lifts my heart above
* * * * *
THINKING JUST OF YOU
Gazing up at you from this great distance
It feels so far from me to you
Yet I see you all around me
The magnificence of the sculptured clouds
Shaded in whites, grays, and silvers
Against the dim blue background
Reminds me of those times I was
So passionately in love with you
And I… grew weary in well-doing I suppose
All my energy feels spent
Though I think of you wistfully and longingly
It feels as though I will never get there again
So I sit
Staring at the sky
Dreaming of you
Remembering what it was like to feel you near
The comfort and security of your presence
Thinking just…
Of you, you, you, you…
* * * * *
BEGIN AGAIN
Funny how the “what-ifs� work against you in the end
When all your dreams come crashing down around you in the sand
You look back on the choices made and wonder what went wrong
Instead of looking in your heart and seeing what is strong
No matter how many roads you take
Or bridges you have burned
There are still so many dreams to make
On lessons you have learned
Don’t let the circumstances of your life just lead you by the hand
Look up, take heart, choose life, rejoice, it’s time to take a stand
Beyond each day, a new day dawns with mercies ever new
Begin again to live with hope that love will walk with you
Never give up! You cannot see what’s just around the bend
Remember this: through bad or good, God’s always in command
The rain will fall, the sun will shine, the world will always spin
Through everything, you have your life, a gift to you from Him.
* * * * *
THROUGH THE SHADOWS
Can I hear you? Can I feel you?
Can I see you? Can I touch you?
Can I know you? Can I love you?
Are you here?
Holy Father, do you listen
When I feel that I am missing
What you have for me to walk in?
Do you care?
Do you hear me? Do you feel me?
Do you see me? Do you touch me?
Do you know me? Do you love me?
Am I yours?
Tell me Jesus, will you reach out
Through the shadows of my self-doubt,
Reassure me (when my fears shout)
That you care?
Holy Spirit, reach within me
Help my blind eyes truly see
That you wrap your arms around me
Take my fear.
When I sit within your presence
Put behind all of my questions
Trust beyond all of my senses
That you care,
I can hear you. I can feel you.
I can see you. I can touch you.
I can know you. I can love you.
You are here.
* * * * *
Has It Been So Long
Has it been so long… since I stopped to talk with you?
Since I really stopped to hear you speak
Or took the time to listen?
Each morning, I awaken with the best of good intentions
To find night enfolding me in silence
As the fragments of me day fall to the ground.
Even my sleep is restless as I search within my dreams
Following after the shadows of your passing
Chasing the night breeze and falling stars
Knocked askew as you brushed past
The searching wears on my soul as I hear your voice in the wind
Only to get distracted by my own foolish quick fixes
Ever you beckon me on, touching me here… there…
So, I drop myself again, hurrying after your promise of life
Once in a while, I even find you, chatting briefly with you
Until the shadows in my soul fall again like a curtain
Between me and the light of your presence
I trudge along ‘til something… someone…
Reminds me I have forgotten us
And I chase you again until you find me
Has it really been so long… It doesn’t seem so
Yet it feels like a moment of eternity as well
That fraction of time that hangs suspended forever
‘Til the clock ticks on and reminds me of its swift passage
These are the minutes I can never have back again
The ones lost to us in my petty, anxious fretting
It would be soooo… good to let it all go
I long to find you in my waking, in my sleeping
In my visions and dreams as well as the utter reality of all my physical senses
So that the fullness of your absolute presence
Could flow out and engulf those around me
Like a waterfall cascading down and billowing up again
In great big giant clouds of living liquid
The uprushing streams… fountains…
Fueled by the tumult of joyous sacrifice
It is the singular stream pouring down upon the Rock
That is broken up into a thousand, million droplets
Raining down on the thirsty souls around me……
Let it not be long, O Lord, until I sit with you again.
* * * * *
The Noise Of My Solitude
Had a long, cold drive
Window stuck open, rain pouring in
Thinking about all the times I ran
Away from here, went to there,
Came back to here to hear
The empty silence as I walk in the door
It never changes…
At least the loud wet wind was noise
This solitude is unbearably, noisily oppressive on my ears
My thoughts flit about like birds beating at a window in the cold
Unruly again—always sliding back to dull reality
This horrible five year nightmare
I keep expecting to wake up from
The deeper sorrow is older even…
I do not know how old
But I keep expecting to wake up from it, too
The lingering brown shadows of the
Barely remembered… not really remembered…
Colors everything
I am tempted to leave again
Better the noise of the drive than the noise of my solitude
…Nevermind…
No matter how many times I go there
I always come back here
Better to stick it out and hope that dawn will come wipe away
The night terrors from my cheeks
…Maybe …Someday
* * * * *
BITS AND PIECES OF YOU
Bits and pieces of you come to us through every encounter
A lumpy, lopsided one there—beautiful in its disfigurement
A faceted one here, a smooth one somewhere else
All of them have ways of sliding into our heart unnoticed
You come. You rest inside, a small seed hidden away,
Sometimes for years, waiting the right season to blossom
The trust we receive into a beautiful flower
Or a large tree heavy with fruit
Who knows how you choose to operate
Or why you choose to operate in the ways you do
All I know is… tonight you touched me
In some unseen, indefinable way
The music, the words, the speaking
Something penetrated the wall within
I cannot understand and yet, I recognize the value of what you did
The irony of it all lies in the fact that the truth comes
As a thing from you, and at the same time… you
You are the truth. You bring us the truth.
It’s one of those bits and pieces I have just had to blossom—
The lumpy, lopsided one I think.
It’s so pretty, I shall have to hang onto it and treasure it,
Like when I was a child collecting rocks
Those silly-looking (to others) pebbles from the bottom of the creek
Now adorn my shadow box like trophies
You are the most beautiful bit and piece of You
I have encountered thus far…
Thanks!
* * * * *
CLAY POT
The flow of life around me has a tenuous elasticity about it
No matter how I poke and prod, push and shove at the circumstances,
Time moves on…
There are the moments I desire to chop it all off—
Break the ugly, unpleasantness of it
So I can start over again with a blank slate—
Then the moments pass on, like everything else
I realize that for good or ill
This is the one life I have been given
The elasticity closes in around me
Strengthening me in some strange way
I learn to deal, to react,
To reach out with the hands which are not quite mine,
To change what I see in myself that can be changed…
It is a tension I am beginning to accept as
Yet another tool of God’s constraining love
Closing in from without… Pushing out from within…
Shaping my life from all angles into some beautiful piece of art
That I cannot appreciate fully because
I cannot see me from the outside.
I am simply the clay on the potter’s wheel
Being formed by centrifugal/centripetal force against the potter’s hands
Through the pain of change, I still feel the love in His hands,
Know the joy of being His
This is all that matters …and I am content.
* * * * *
WILDERNESS EXPERIENCE
The scouring winds of sorrow blow swiftly over the rolling wilderness of my soul
As I ramble through this prairie bemused by the beauty of desolation—
The rich brightness of a million-million stars reveling with me in my elation.
Somehow this carefree moment brings release.
The sadnesses do not matter; the joys are tiny punctuation marks,
But this… this magnitude of passion is a vast ocean with its rich depth of emotions!
The swirling grasses of my circumstances are passing brief moments—
Natural attempts to hold my focus that cannot as I move on…
Drawn to the brightness of the rising Son in my heart.
I reach for the rays that caress my upraised face and hands
With all its blistering, blustering passage.
The morning dew settles on me as your Spirit waters my soul,
Needed tears of release and jubilation in the same moment.
Ah… Jesus…
Would that I could stay with you in my communing dance this morning…
Let me carry you to the next weary heart,
So, that they, too, can find refreshing in your presence.
* * * * *
TO SAY I LOVE YOU
Lord, with all the passion of my soul, I love you…
The difficulty is to find new ways to tell you.
I’ve used every single word I know to say.
I’ve danced my dances, sung my songs,
Poured out my heart to you in every way.
I’ve even drawn and colored like a child.
My instrumental worship seems too bold,
My meager fearful gratitude too mild.
All I’ve left to give is quiet stillness.
Focusing on you, forgetting what’s around us,
I simply come to sit within your presence.
As I marvel at your grace, feel the heartbeat of your love
For all I know and do not know—I weep…
Nothing else will do… and so, at last, I love…
With all the passion of my soul expressed in tears
Of every shade and color of emotion you can hear.
* * * * *
SUNRISE ON A WINTER MORNING
Watercolor wind-strokes on the prism of the sky
Ever-changing beauty blowing past the watchful eye
Water, light & air—Creator’s instrument of art
Expressions of divine emotions speaking heart to heart
* * * * *
OCEAN OF OPPORTUNITY
Somewhere along the way I lost sight of you…
Where you were going… What you were doing…
How I was supposed to love you…
How WAS I supposed to love you, anyway?
Was it to give you everything you wanted without question?
Was it to lay down and forget everything I ever was or dreamed of
To put you first—your dreams, your vision, your goals?
It turned out to be the death of my personhood in the end.
I didn’t simply lose sight of you; I lost sight of me.
We lost sight of us and made it all about you.
I loved you the best way I knew how, but it was never enough.
In the strangest way, though, your release became my resurrection.
It was learning a new perspective—
Realizing that in some odd way we had set each other up for failure.
I gave up all my hopes and dreams as a sacrifice on your altar.
You laid all your needs and desires on my altar.
Each of us was praying to the other for fulfillment.
We should have known it would never work.
Pedestals always topple.
It was the shattering of false ideals that brought me to this realization.
Now, I have regained some vestige of my crushed humanity.
Slowly I have come to understand who I am as a person again.
I bless you in your voyage onward, grateful for what you gave me
In casting me off of your vessel into the ocean of opportunity.
I may have floundered at first,
But I have become a strong swimmer—
Finding refuge and respite in various ships and ports along the way.
I have even begun to build a vessel of my own…
* * * * *
Careless Words
Careless words are tossed about
Like pretty glass baubles thrown about to catch
The beauty of light reflected in their movement
It doesn’t take long to find some shattered on the floor
Broken shards laying around until, inevitably,
Someone steps on them
And comes away bleeding profusely
The hum and music of the voices rumbles on
While the wounded soul creeps quietly away
Bleeding heart held hidden in hand
Hoping for healing in the silent solitude
* * * * *
…COMMUNION…
Test enough of love—your death for my life.
Dare I ask again if you love me
As if I really didn’t know?
The thundering swell of your love swept through eternity
When the Rock made His mark on time
Like a stone thrown into the center of a puddle.
Our tiny little lives were shaken up
In the turbulence of your present existence
Changing our reality moment by moment…
I dare not ask if you love me!
The very essence of who you are—
Your BE-ing—is the answer I search for.
The paradox of Eternity subjecting itself
To the constraints of time,
Just to demonstrate your love,
Is a marvel beyond expression or explanation.
The deepest mystery of all that is
Turns finite existence inside out
Exposing infinity, even in our own souls.
I cannot beg of you any more than I have already received,
Yet my acceptance of love in its purest form
Reveals the unending passion of your heart
To love me in ways my human mind can comprehend…
To lift me up to your level
So you can Breathe your love upon me
With the twinkle in your eye
That speaks the joy you find in my childish acceptance
Expressed out of the sheer pleasure I find in
BE-ing with your BE-ing.
This exchange of ours—
Joy unspeakable and FULL of glory,
Love intertwined in this inexpressible wonder of communion—
It is “new� life beginning again…
* * * * *
UNFEIGNED
It’s frustrating…
This inability to put down in print
An accurate portrayal of what I feel
I weep with a depth of sadness
And the ache in my soul is
Mirrored by the ache in my body
…Yet these are only words
I rage with all the energy and passion I possess
But looks don’t actually kill,
The daggers in my eyes simply melt away
Like an ice cube in the sun
…And still I cannot convey the depth of what I feel
I rejoice like a child
Dancing outside in the summer rain
Laughing for no reason other than simple joy
…But everything I write falls short
The limitations of language
Cannot begin to say what I need to say
…Sometimes the blank page is my best poetry!
* * * * *
GRAY SKY
It is the majesty of gray that awes me to silence…
Everything from the pale smoke blanketing forested foothills in the distance
To the sky above me, shaded in bluish gray to vaguely orange behind me
With all the feather-faceted clouds hovering in between
Patches of bluish white (scheduled shortly to turn midnight black) shine through
For now, I rejoice in the grayness of dusk in its fleeting passage
Every moment is another brushstroke of beauty added by the master artist—
Empathetic moodiness that comforts my soul.
* * * * *
DANCING ANGELS
It looks like angels dancing in the sky—
The slow sweep of clouds through the vast expanse
Moving to an unheard eternal rhythm.
They bow and sway gracefully,
Nodding in time to the music,
As they stretch out their arms and
Twirl majestically across the brilliant blue ballroom.
I catch my breath in awe—
Standing motionless as I strain my heart to hear the beat.
As sun sets, they exchange white robes for multicolored ones.
The breeze—and the rhythm—picks up
Like the gaiety of a festival in one last fling
…Until night settles in and the angels take their rest
Ambling along in contented tiredness.
The crescent moon winks at me
In mutual appreciation of what we have observed.
It is just our secret—the moon’s and mine.
I heave a sigh of satisfaction and
Bend my own measured steps toward home.
* * * * *
NEVER GIVE UP
Door after door after door
Shut & bolted in my face
Farther and farther and farther
I wander down this long hallway
Towards some uncertain goal
The voice in my heart beckons me on
Whispers hope when I see no light
Somewhere inside of me
There is a new, rock-hard determination
Never, ever give up
There is restoration, resolution
Whether it is tomorrow or
Next month or next year…
He tells me it comes
Since I trust Him, I walk on
He knows better than I
That I can be changed, be healed
Be rescued from myself
…Delivered from my enemies
It does not matter
This, my chosen path, will lead me
Where He wants me to go
Carefully, I still my soul to hear Him
As I reach out and try another door
Sure that the next one will open
…Never give up…
* * * * *
THE CRUX OF THE MATTER
The crux of the matter is death
Christ’s death on the cross
Our death to oldness that we might find newness
Justice and Mercy wed that day under a canopy of dark clouds
A bridal wreath of thorns
Eternal redemption pledged with nails of iron
The groom himself offered up as the bread and wine—
A betrothal meal for all the ages of time’s existence
Culminating with a wedding feast to mark the final union
Resurrection—the result of redemptive grace
Yet, the crux of the matter is still death
Without which there can be no resurrection
Let me, O Lord, crucify my flesh in justice
Meeting mercy in your resurrection life
* * * * *
IN PROGRESS
As you lower the veil between us I discover yet another part of me
That needs your enhancing brushstrokes, like a painting in the process of restoration.
Sometimes you cover me up and leave me hidden from public eyes
Until it is time (you judge) to return, uncover me before you
And improve me as you see fit.
I sit waiting, wishing I was finally finished—
Grateful for your patience when I find myself incomplete.
The old musty parts of me with chipped off paint, scratches and cuts
Reveal the places of pain in my inner man from neglectful and abusive handling.
Sometimes you need to sand away the rough place—it hurts, but I trust you.
Still, I find your merciful gentleness healing, in the application of fresh oil (in bright colors!)
So, I wait here rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, believing
You will have your perfect work in me, and praying that, even now
When people pass by and peek beneath the blanket of your grace
They will see some portion of your glory displayed
Rather than simply the bruised and broken self I see.
Underneath your hand, O Master Painter, I am eternally grateful
That you know your original intention in creating me and
You know the best way to restore the likeness of your image in my life.
* * * * *
MONTEAGLE DRIVE
As I traveled down Monteagle mountain
And looked out at the fields and the hills
At the close of the day
My breath went away
With the beauty I visualize still
The air all around me was purple
Like seeing the color of wind
And the sky up ahead
Was a breathtaking red
I’ve not seen in I just don’t know when…
* * * * *
GENTLEST SHEPHERD
The deep yearnings of human beings for a quiet place to rest
Grow ever wider, ever deeper, until at long last
The heart-weary ones stumble and fall into the broad hand of God.
He has waited with eternal patience for those
Who wander the wide world searching for
They know not what… but truth and light and peace.
He cups them close to His heart—
Whispering softly past deaf ears,
Shining soft light through blind eyes,
Pouring His living water into dry mouths past parched lips.
He restores their souls and, as a gentle Shepherd,
Heals with a perfect touch.
With parental pride He sets them on their feet again,
So they may follow through green pastures,
Beside still waters, in paths of righteousness.
He removes their fear with perfect love—
Nurturing, disciplining, wrapping His arms around them again and again.
He is Gentlest Shepherd,
Granting the weary heart eternal inner rest in His presence.
* * * * *
PERFECT LOVE
We have a Holy Father God who loves with perfect love
And all the love we have to give came down from up above,
For every good and perfect gift comes from the Lord of lights.
He does not turn and does not sleep, all through our darkest nights.
So know that in the hardest times when all looks bleak and dim
We still have Christ, Light of the World, and we can cling to Him.
His perfect love will cast out fear and grant us grace to live
With purpose and authority to heal and to forgive.
Our lives are not our own; He bought us with His precious blood.
He longs to know each one He made. His love is like a flood—
A never-ending stream of hope through us to reach all men.
Give without thought of what you get, again and yet again.
Love without thought of being loved; He meets us in our need.
Forgive all offenses equally; His truth grows like a seed.
Let Him be Judge with endless mercy, as He was with you.
We know not what tomorrow brings, but He makes all days new.
* * * * *