What more can be said that hasn’t been said?
Language limits my emotional articulation
Till I am spilling over with the unspoken,
Exploding with the unexpressed!
So I sit in pregnant silence waiting.
Only Holy Spirit can write, can flow,
Can say what is needed to fill the vacuum.
I wait and He comes in like a gentle breeze
Blowing through the cobwebs of anxious striving,
Helping me trust enough to stay still.
It’s not what needs to be said that matters,
It is letting all the feelings freely flow.
Even unintelligible noises and tears and laughter,
Or the fluency of imagination’s visual flight,
Bring deep inner peace to my soul again.
I focus on Him instead of my passion, and
He sets me free to be me…
Contemplative in every expression of emotion.
Latest Entries »
I keep giving up on myself.
It’s frustrating to try and fail and
Try and fail… over and over.
There are days I’m convinced
It’s not even worth trying, so
I fail before I begin.
I fall over my own obstacles,
Tripping on the same traps that
Haunt my feet every day.
I think, “Will the effort ever end?
Will my stubborn self ever bend?�
I keep giving up on myself, and
Hoping that somehow,
Even though I give up, He won’t.
The yard outside is rife with Spring.
The newness shows in everything.
The conversation nature sings-
A symphony of joy.
The shoots of colors (splendor splayed)
Seem like a brand new masquerade-
A spritely dance of living things
We annually enjoy.
The birds converse and sing with glee.
The squirrels jump from tree to tree.
Their voices give the earth beneath
New courage come to life.
The flowers bloom and grass gets green.
The ground seems more and more serene-
Telling birds and squirrels to breathe,
To sing and play and fly.
I saw a ground hog waddle out.
The fellow was so strong and stout.
He walked around and went back in
As if he owned the place.
I’m filled with wonder and amazed
When Spring comes with its happy craze.
Regardless of the mood I’m in,
God grants me brand new grace.
I feel the sweetness of your mercy
Like feathers falling from the wings of love.
I rest beneath the breath of life
Blowing on my deadness,
Resurrecting pieces of my heart
Until I’m whole again–
United in a reverent fear of You.
Forgive me, Lord,
For letting all the stuff of life
Sidetrack my intimacy with you.
Still, in the ways you speak to me,
You keep on giving grace to grow–
Calling me to courage in my walk,
Despite the dread that plagues my heart.
You hold me still and whisper peace
Reminding me You love me anyway.
So many goodbyes
So many hellos
I’m weary of changes
Weary of losing loved ones
No energy to love new friends
But I keep trying
The gaps need filling
More absences
More additions
It’s all so confusing sometimes
Sapping my strength with cold
While the warmth barely suffices
But I keep moving
Just to stay alive
All the bare trees
All the winter blossoms
I’m torn between death and life
But bareness will blossom again
Winter flowers fade to spring colors
So I keep looking
Present life, future beauty
Somehow I praise
Somehow I worship
I’m mindful of Creator’s will
Relying on His strength in me
When I have nothing left inside
Still I keep trusting
Faithfully hoping in Love
My hands won’t stop shaking;
My insides are worse;
And dread leaves me quaking,
Completely submersed.
Still, You speak whispers
Of comfort and peace.
You don’t give me answers,
But always increase
Your presence around me
Till I come to know
Perfect love dwells within me,
And then the fears go.
Forever You’ve held me
Secure in Your hands.
You never have judged me;
For You understand
My frailty and weaknesses,
Heartaches and tears.
Through all my distresses,
I know You are near,
And I am still learning,
When I want to run,
That You are worth trusting
You can’t be outdone.
Check out the new page I posted under my prose section.
The hurting heart inside of me
Wears tears and scars from years of wounds,
Yet still I hope and trust in You
Whose scars and wounds outweigh my own.
Though things may come repeatedly
To tear my aching soul apart,
I’m sure of what You’ve promised me
A place of rest within Your heart.
Pausing just a moment for mental rest,
I find a small place inside of me quiet,
Waiting for Your presence to manifest
In a way I can grasp-body, soul, spirit.
It’s not often my soul stills itself for You,
As rightly I should do more in this riot,
But now, unexpected, I linger anew
Because deep inside I can hear it…
Your voice speaking softly,
You whisper my name-
Calling me closer, wooing my will,
Lord, help me to focus again.
His eyes are cautious, but his smile ready and broad–
My thinker, this one… third-born and deep as the ocean.
He speaks with careful honesty, not afraid to question–
He forces me to rethink my stuck-in-a-rut logic and
All the taken-for-granted answers require fresh answers.
When he speaks, I’ve found it’s usually worth listening to,
Though like any young teen he needs guidance and correction.
Still, I am discovering a new person in my son.
Like me, he sees with his heart, looks for the best, and
Hurts with frequent disappointment when people are human.
He is his own person, making his own decisions,
Quick to acknowledge his own weaknesses, and
Eager to try old things again, new things anew,
Never giving up hope and certain of his faith.
He has his faults and argues for what he believes
Even when what he believes contradicts parental instruction,
But he is growing and learning.
His delight in new discoveries is infectious, like his laugh.
I can hardly wait to meet the amazing man
God intends HIS David to be.
