Category: Random Thoughts


Me with You

Holy are you, Lord.
I come to your table again by your grace,
By your mercy, because of
Your unfathomable goodness and lovingkindness.
I know I am not worthy, but
Your blood covers me again and again.
Let me know your presence, Jesus.
Let me come to the Father through you.
Envelop me, Holy Spirit, with your love.

In your presence, God, is fullness of joy.
Help me to be… me with you.
I am in You, and You are in me.

We sit on the floor by the fireplace,
Basking in warmth,
Comfortable with just being together.
There is silence beneath the music,
And it is good.
You look into my eyes with loving acceptance.
How is this possible, Lord,
That you still love me despite my shortcomings?

Draw me to you again, please, Lord.
Increase my desire for your presence.
Show me contentment in you.
You, you, you are all I need.
Fill my lungs with your breath;
Fill my heart with your awareness.
Let your blood flow through my veins, Jesus,
Till I exude you to everyone around me.

Out into Sunlight

Determination creeps up on me and pounces
Like a lion snatching its prey from the jaws of indifference.
Till now I have simply existed—
Wandering from day to day with some bewilderment,
Wondering if my days held any real substance.
It’s a terrible state to be in.
That tepid, tasteless miasma blankets everything
Until I can’t tell what the point is:
Wake, eat, work, eat, function minimally, sleep, begin again.
Somehow, though, I sense I am coming out into sunlight.
My mind feels sharper.
My eyes seem clearer.
My ears are more finely tuned to hear Your voice.
Speak, Lord. Your servant is listening.

Love (for John)

I find myself thinking of you a lot, and I do mean A LOT.
You are on my mind a goodly portion of Every. Single. Day.
How you look, things you say,
The affectionate way you… surround me…
Like the shoulder rubs in the mornings,
Or the frequent, extended hugs in the evenings.
It’s so very odd in one sense.
It doesn’t have the same euphoric feel of being “in love,”
Yet I could easily call it that and be accurate.
All these years since we met and I’m still happy with you.
Sure there are the goofy little things,
But I love being your audience when you play guitar.
I love the heart of gold that motivates you to preach the gospel.
I love the way you play with your beard,
Stare into my eyes and smile at me.
I just plain and simply love you.
I couldn’t imagine life without you, Love.

Meditating

Meditating on you, Lord, takes effort, I have found.
You are so… present in every moment,
Yet so far away from my thoughts.
How can I, small-minded as I am,
Keep refocusing on the greatness of you—
Your love, your grace, your mercy, your kindness?
I just want to be aware and sensitive,
So that when you move, I follow;
When you speak, I speak;
When you are silent, I wait on you.
There are no words sufficient to express
The magnificence of your intent towards us.
You beckon us to be part of your purposes in the earth,
While I just wonder if I can get through the day.
O Lord, forgive my self-focused attitude.
Help me to be more outward in my posture…
Loving you… loving my neighbor…
Remind me that it’s not “all about me,”
But truly all about you and your love for your children.
You reach for me, and I shy away in fear of retribution,
But I want to reach back in response,
Realizing you created me as I am—
To need your impetus to move forward.
You give me the faith to trust, and
All I can do is to fall into your hands again.
When my own efforts fail to remember you,
You still come to mind.
In the mundanity of my daily strivings,
You remind me that you still love me,
Even though I can never quite figure out why or how.
I am grateful…
And I still love you,
Because you loved me first.

On the Way

Holy Spirit, sometimes I despair that
I will ever find a deep, lasting change;
Then your hope rises up in me again,
Reminding me that this journey is just that—
A path from here to there.
I am not here or there…
I am on the way.
Change will come, because that is the nature of living!
Static states are only temporary.
They may feel permanent, but they are NOT!!
You are a God of transformation and power…
Stronger than my circumstances,
More powerful than my old nature.
I choose life once more.
I choose newness over and over—
Over all the stagnancy that surrounds me.
The surface seems still and unmoving,
But in the depths your vibrations trouble the waters
Until your mighty waves wash through me—
Shaking me up repeatedly,
Loosening all the crustiness of illness and depression,
Flooding me with joy!
Come, Lord Jesus, with your blood.
Wash me clean again.
Father of Lights, banish the darkness in me.
I only want to reflect your life to those around me.

At the End of Every Path

Countless times I am drawn again
To the matchless wonder of who you are,
Reminded over and over again that you are God—
The Father who spoke life into the void,
The Son who spoke life to a buried body,
The Spirit who speaks life daily to each heart.
No matter how my mind wanders,
I find you at the end of every path—
The rose in full bloom when I thought
There would only be a budding flower…
Because fullness of life is all that you contain,
From two cells joining to a fully grown human adult.
There is abundance in you,
Even in paucity of resources,
Because it’s all yours from beginning to end—
First, last, and everything in between.
O Lord God, be the all-encompassing presence
We need you to be in our lives;
But more than that, Jesus,
Help us to know your presence in every moment.

Prayer for Mercy

I find I cannot reach for words the way I used to.
I put things down only to discover it falls short.
What I want to say, I am unable to say,
So I keep on babbling in some vain effort to express
All the mixed up cauldron of mess in my heart.
Still, I can’t not write, so I press on
Hoping that sooner or later I will find truth.
Holy God, be the inspiration I long for.
You are the only reality I need.
Teach me your ways, like Moses,
So I can pen some kind of light to those around me.
Take me out of the deep water of confusion
I have lately found myself in,
In some way I fail to understand.
Show me your glory again.
Refine my mental processes somehow,
So I can once more express my heart for you.
Help me, Holy Father, to lean into you–
To find help, hope, and healing in your heart.
Above all, Lord Jesus, bring me into your mercy,
So that as I fall and fail, I learn still.
I need you, Lord, so desperately that
I have lost all words to speak the depths of my need…
Yet, still, I yearn, I long, I reach, for some kind of wisdom.
In my lack, I beg of you, God, give me grace,
Because I can only find peace in you.

Revival

In those moments when I feel a stirring that I can’t explain,
A fire coming alight in me, when I have felt so lukewarm lately,
All I can do is marvel at the mercy being poured out on me.
May it be so, Holy Spirit, that I am inflamed by the heat of your love.
This liveliness of soul feels so much better than
The dreary dullness of being that has seemed so all-encompassing.
How many times do I need to cry out, “Wake me up, Lord!”
Before I actually feel more awake and alive?
What is it I need to do to stay in the center of your living water,
Feel the bubbling stream of your essence around me?
I long to know beyond feeling, but feeling seems so real.
Let the yearning for intimacy with you, Jesus,
Become my constant companion in my spiritual walk.
I don’t like the compromises that douse the flames,
Yet I get so caught up in day-to-day living,
That it becomes easier to subside into routines and bad habits.
I need your life, alive in me until I can’t sit still.
I need your holy word, splashing up into a flowing river,
Touching all the people around me again and again…and again.
I need you, Lord God, overshadowing me with imminence,
Just so I don’t forget to tell you, thank you for the grace that lifts me,
As the Psalmist says, out of the miry clay.
Set my feet on your path of light once more,
So I can say with gladness, “Praise the Most High God!!!”
Indeed, I do praise you, Living God, Creator of the universe, and
I say still, “In you I live and move and have my being.”
Breathe on me, Breath of God, in newness of life…more and more and more.

Not the Circumstances

Sometimes You sleep when the wind and waves crash over me.
I wonder in my unbelief if I will be overwhelmed,
Because I am staring at the fury instead of at Your face.
Yet, I know in my heart of hearts that I can trust You.
It is only when I forget that I falter…
But I no longer know You according to the flesh,
Or the ways the world thinks,
Now, I know You in the Spirit—
The God who commanded light to shine in darkness,
Shines in my heart till my inner night is conquered.
…If only I could remember to gaze at You, and
Find rest in my own little boat beside You.
It is Your posture, Lord, that governs the outcome,
Not the circumstances in which I find myself.

Sweet Sleep

Sweet sleep come greet me soon
Before my mind wanders overmuch.
Let the still night hours wrap my thoughts
Till peace and quiet reign again, and
My body finds comfort in my familiar bed.
Let the angels fill my dreams with more…
More You, Lord… more grace, Father…
More rest, Holy Spirit, in Your habitations with me.