…
I feel as if I have been to court and
You are the witness, judge, and jury
Determining my guilt without any chance at all
For me to defend myself.
And why should I have to defend myself anyway?
Humanity is as humanity does.
I strive to reach a goal like everyone else.
I struggle to improve as a person…
Like everyone else.
I have always done my best to love unconditionally,
To demonstrate that love in relating to you,
To place the boundaries where they needed to be and
Enforce those guidelines when it was at all possible.
Now you say I didn’t care,
Or that I didn’t want you around,
Or maybe I did care, but sorry, it wasn’t enough.
You’ve placed conditions around me—
Expectations that I can only fail to meet.
You box me into a corner and
You wonder why I react as I do.
My heart hurts again, and I
Can only sit stoically in some attempt
To appear unfazed by your communication…
If one could call it that.
I thought communication was a two-way street.
Ideally that means both speak, both are heard,
And maybe both are understood.
There is negotiation when viewpoints don’t meet.
It seems, though, as if I am forever doomed
To condemnation by deafened ears.
These things I say will never reach your heart
Because your walls have shut me out.
You have no interest in knowing
The reasoning or the emotions behind
My choices and my actions.
Why I think and feel the way I do
Has no material bearing on your behavior,
No influence in what you say or do.
…