I’m not sure how I keep going on some days.
It’s hard to just function like a normal human being—
Get up, get ready, get dressed, go to work.
These overcast days make it even harder,
Because then the outside world matches my inside world—
All gray and dreary.
Truthfully, I just want to lay down and go to sleep, sometimes forever.
But something inside me refuses to quit,
So I drag myself up and out and keep on with life.
There’s a core of stubborn fire somewhere deep in my soul
That says I will never let the enemy, or my flesh,
Win this battle over my life.
Faith tells me the bleak tastelessness is just a façade.
I am adamantly determined to never give up.
There are so many people who keep telling me:
They care; they love me; they love things about me.
The ultimate hard line for me is remembering again
I am not my own; I am bought with a price.
I don’t have the right to sit down and abandon hope.
All my hope is in Christ!
Even when my mind and heart fail, and
My strength feels like absolute weakness,
What little I am, what meagerness I have
Belongs to Him.
So I speak to my soul and command my heart:
Trust in God.
Remember His faithfulness.
Believe in His goodness.
Proclaim His worthiness,
Because He is still great and greatly to be praised!
His love and His mercy endure forever, and
He holds my life in His hands.
I… do not, because I am His.